Posted by pancho from IP020-56.fcs.net (209.0.56.20) on Sunday, March 24, 2002 at 3:59PM :
to go along. That's all. Like the kid in the vestry or the man or woman about to be raped...just go along and all will be fine. It will be "fine" because they wont do the worst to you...the worst they would do if you didn't give in.
Just one less beating or rape session is an "improvement" to a young child...the absence of pain alone can become a pleasure for as brief as it last before the next pain is inflicted.
If I had kept my mouth shut...as John and Janey, Atour and Jackie said all along...I would have "succeeded". At what...pleasing them? Are they the writers and editors and critics and composers of Assyria as well? On top of being our Grat Leeders and Moralists, are they also experts now on Art and Culture?
How Jackie loved having me in her stable...how Nimrod would have loved me if I had agreed to promote his "image"...or Atour if I had turned all my sculpture over to him for welding or anything else he saw fit to do.
Don't you see that what they are demanding I do, and the rest of us do...robs the very heart and soul from an enterprise? What good would it do me to succeed according to their definition...if I have to gut the very essence of my projects? Why would a Harvard professor ever give in to a demand from one of Grat hoods? In order to continue with a seminar series that is supposed to present the very best in us? Begin it by doing just about the very worst thing she could have done? Why...so they will be "nice" to me or Eden or Narsai...or so they'll just get out of the way and leave us alone? But they will NOT get out of the way...that's the whole point. If you wont do it their way, even though you ask nothing of them...they'll make sure to sink you...to spread lies and intimidate people and cities and whatever else they need to do to make sure you DON'T succeed.
Nod your heads if you get any of this. Anybody alive out there?
-- pancho
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