Posted by pancho from ? (64.79.4.3) on Monday, April 15, 2002 at 9:32AM :
Those two young girls I've written of before, the ones in Chicago who looked so adorngly and longingly at the completed plaster of Shumirum...Jackie wants girls like them looking at HER that way. Why didn't I see it before!
The bronze monuments get in the way of Jackie and John and Atour...they grab all the attention and the glory, leaving them to play the part of midwife or worse, orderly.
Give me men as strong as our women.
Is it my fault that Jackie Bejan is the most formidable man we have produced this century? Whereas our men die of fright at the thought of conflict, Jackie puts them all to shame by at least taking on the challenge. Man to man, I think Jackie and I are fairly well matched adversaries...well, take away her money and her ability to buy lawyers with it, as she buys everything and everyone else, and we wouldn't be so well matched.
What I'm doing goes right over most people's heads. In the case of Atour Golani, the Leprechaun of Assyria, WAY over. John Nimrod died a few years back and only his dismal public showings in recent years, and Carlo Ganjeh's willingness to deliver him to functions, holding him upright to do everything but pee, hides that from us, that and the fact that we hardly notice him any longer.
That leaves Jackie, the only one willing to at least engage...however fitfully and behind however many lawyers she needs. It's the best I can get.
Jackie was grooming herself to become the "Mother of Her People"...instead she will come out of this the motherfucker of her people...using our amazing willingness to be cajoled and tricked against us, to dash any hope of personal growth we might have made, in order to dance attendance at her own shrine instead.
(Do you have any idea how many of her former "friends" are relishing this?)
She is of the old school of leaders we've been plauged by, the kind who think it will be better for all of of us if we produce one good looking, well dressed representative to be our image maker in the world. That's why people were so pissed that I sued that Putz and tarnished his "image". Just as people feel they should hush up fornicating priests because the truth ruins the rotten fiction.
Jackie is an "ariviste", No...NOT an Italian car. It means one who has "just arrived" as in just made it into a social class she understands only as requiring money to get into. She is "neuveau riche" in all its worst aspects. Helen Nimrod had real class, she had it as a little girl escaping Urmia and with her husband making a power couple before such a thing existed.
Helen drove around, and then was driven around, in an old Buick. She never came across as vulgar, EVER, or making any ostentatious displays...I had to almost plead with her to allow me to place a dedication to her on the base of the Shumirum, whereas Jackie wanted to get up on that pedestal herself. I had to CONVINCE Helen that in allowing me to have an evening of appreciation in her honor in Chicago, she was really doing us a further service because our people needed to know that there are Assyrians, like she and Narsai David, who are willing to work behind the scenes...the problem is that by remaining behind the scenes, the rest of us don't know what can be achieved.
Jackie IS the scene. She said it time and again, that it would be HER contacts that would get the Shumirum into San Jose...and when she couldn't use it to glorify herself...it was, "fuck them all".
Jackie is a sort of Final Exam. If you can look at her...if you know her, or recognize her "type" from the pages of my upcoming "book"...if you can see the difference between blatant self-glorification, and a willingness to let people know the part you played in glorifying THEM...then you are ready to move on, beyond the point where a pat on the head, or fanny, from a heavily jeweled hand will unnerve you.
Those of you familiar with my little ways already know that the vulgarisms and what not are the "excuses" or the means I give people to use against me. These formed the basis of complaints aginst me at beth and aina. The reason they had to, "regretfully, terminate me, was that I was scaring the children and horses. That's bullshit, and sometimes it takes some to reveal a whole lot more.
There are far more effective ways for me to dice and slice Jackie than with crude refernces to her crude anatomy and the more crude uses she puts it to. But while she is busy fulminating aginst the obvious, the blunt and easily objectionable...what is really unmasking her is the other stuff...the stuff that is even more firmly guranteed than my right to discuss her anatomy.
If the Constitution were to be called in to preserve everyone's sensibilities, we'd be swamped in suits brought by anyone who was ever "hurt" by someone else. That's why you have to show some material damage, something objective and measurable. Some people are very easily offended, especially if you tell the truth about them.
It must be as clear as it can be that Jackie is using her money to harrass me...as she has every right to do. It should be clear to anyone that I never posed any physical threat to her, and yet she has signed legal documents claiming that I have and will in the future. I clearly never engaged in any swindle and sure as hell never came to her doorstep begging for food for my family. It should also be plain that she did indeed treat and does treat, the San Jose Association as her own personal belonging, her club...to be used and manipulated by her to meet her own ends. The letters she sent to to people were signed by her as Chairwoman of the convention...that's an official and public designation. In that capacity she spread false stories about me. Let her.
But that makes nonsense of her claim to then be protected by the Law because her delicate and most personal anatomical parts, the ones she uses in public whenever she needs a "clincher", need protection because otherwise she can't sleep well.
She put her arse on the line when she sent those letters out...but like Sarguis before her, she never thought that sneaky double dealing would ever come to light, or if it did, that anyone would do anything about it.
I'm at least the woman you are, Jackie.
-- pancho
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