Posted by panch from pool0146.cvx25-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net (209.179.216.146) on Tuesday, July 09, 2002 at 0:49AM :
This Thingie has been a great learning experience for me...a crash course on our condition in this country. Not every aspect of our existence is mirrored here, not by a long shot...but it's been about the best way to sample what's available. Any "secret" Assyrians out there I figure aren'ty doing any good...or harm. They cancel each other out...wherever they might be.
What we're left with are the ones willing to express themselves...though the very fact they feel the need to remain anonymous also indicates something about us.
I do know one thing..."Ross's" children will not hold his same views. Growing up in this country they will see the poverty, the lack of depth, of quality ,in them...where our Heritage is concerned and what to "do" about it. They will either evolve a higher consciousnous...or become completely Americanized...as in Iraq and Syria they are becomming completely Arabized...and in England completely Anglicized...you get the picture.
Our hope lies with the born again Assyrians...even those who are only part Assyrian, because it's in the doing that you express your Assyrianism...not your blood type or your mouth...and two fingers.
I've seen everyone of our patriots and heroes and historians and experts cut and run. I've read their fiery words, their dire threats, their litany of murders past, their explanations, their excuses, their tons of excuses...I've tried to engage them in debate, tried to reason...to challenge, to listen....
I tried it on the best we had to offer...on Paul Yonan, Raman, Peter, "Ross", as well as a passle of Implements and Devices. I found them all to be shallow...to have one or three stock replies they seem to have memorized beyond which, if you pressed them, they merely called you a Muslim, or an enemy etc. And when that wasn't enough, they simply ignored me and made those calls in the night to have me removed...as if Life would allow them that luxury.
I really am convinced the overwhelming majority of them do not believe in their hearts they are Assyrians at all. I think they were offended to have had their religion beaten and made secondary to the ruling Muslim one. Their conviction that Christianity has to be superior to any other religion burned in them as they saw themselves marginalized...increasingly hiding away in their villages while the world passed their families by.
On top of that, here in the Christian West, they still ,and more gallingly, get no respect for being Christians. In truth I don't think Western Protestants even believe they are any kind of true, modern, clean, Christians...more like some sort of hairy pagans. These people get no respect...not here and not in the MidEast. They certainly don't behave in ways that show any respect for themselves or the Heritage they claim to love so.
They use it, on the contrary, to get something...without ever giving anything to it. It is to their churches that they give anything more than lip service...but next to nothing to their Heritage. Aprim travels the world and confounds scholars not to bring any pride of recognition to us, but to prove that he MUST not be a Christian Arab...or Turk or whatever. For if he is only Christian...then he must wear that title they give to anyone from a Muslim land...they must be Arabs, and this galls them more than anything.
The Assyrian heritage is used by them as a can of shoe polish to put a shine to their souls...that's all. They bring nothing to it, and live in constant fear that it might live and breathe on its own...for where would they go that would be this easy a place to be "great" in. Where else can Aprim be a Historian...Sarguis a journalist...Jackie a rich lady...and all the others of them who come to Assyria to TAKE...not to give.
And me? What about yoors trooly? Has he also come to Assyria to GET something? To get the satisfaction of not only being the "greatest living Assyrian sculptor"...when he's the ONLY Assyrian sculptor...just about? Did I come to this heritage to make what money I could because I was afraid I couldn't handle it "out there"? Am i taking advantage also...just like the rest of them?
I don't know.
-- panch
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