Posted by panch from pool0068.cvx24-bradley.dialup.earthlink.net (209.179.210.68) on Friday, August 30, 2002 at 9:13AM :
Sooner or later I was bound to run up against the full might of the mediocrity that pervades our Nayshun. It could have happened to anyone. It could have been a dance compnay...a theatre group...a writer. Anyone who comes to this People with any sort of serious and professional project...who is going to insist on doing things in a civilized and thorough way...will run right smack into our "leadership"...and they will react in fear and horror.
These people wish to maintain the status quo...the Rules of the Game that they have invented, whose sole purpose is to make Assyria a place they can "shine" in...without too much trouble, and in their spare time. Spare Time is a key component here because it allows them to get on with what really matters in their lives...the "real work" they do...the work that allows them to have the goodies and strut their puny stuff.
The last thing they want to see is any serious dedication from any of us...from people who make Assyria their ONE sole profession. This is why they are always on the look out for fresh blood...why they "beg" you to come and help them...because they know they must smother you...bore you...trivialize you, make you a non-threat to their status. They aren't exactly striving with might and main to accomplish anything...not really...and so the last thing they want is having one or ten of us hanging around who really do want to get things done...serious things, in a serious way.
They were eager to have the benefits of my work...both Nimrod and Bejan wanted to use the Shumirum to enhance their own status among you all as leaders and what nots...but it wasn't to be for our benefit, just theirs primarily...if we managed to get some good out of it, well then so be it.
The Assyrians who can really make a difference are chased off early and quickly. Often just peeking in on these guys is enough to discourage most of us. That is our mistake...it certainly was mine. If we leave, then we leave it to people who are obviously incompetant...and in time our children are eager to NOT be Assyrian. That was my failing...leaving the place to them and going out among the white man. Who did I expect would take up the slack...Nimrod...Homer Simpson...Bejan?
I gave it a good 24 years, starting at my first convention in Los Angeles in '78. I had one piece to offer than...years later I have several pieces but they don't want them...and they don't want me. No one can say I didn't try. And then, wonder of wonders...a Jew contacts me and says he thinks my Assyrian sculptures are just what his new gallery needs. I knew I would swim away eventually, but I never thought the Assyrian sculptures would appeal to others. My mistake...it's that same old thing again...thinking that no one can possibly take an interest in US.
The year long half-price sale is over. I have to sign an agreement and can't go selling privately at reduced prices...and I don't want to. A few Assyrians benefitted from the sale...sculpture they bought for $2000 will now cost six. And that's as it should be. Not until outsiders appreciate the work, will Assyrians think much of it. That's the sad part...that we are so insecure, so racked with self-doubt and self-loathing that we can't value ourselves until a Kraut or Gringo gives us his seal of approval.
This should be interesting.
-- panch
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