The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> Another Shot

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Sunday, February 22 2004, 14:34:46 (EST)
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Let's try approaching this thing intelligently. Long ago in Iraq, when it was called BetNahrain, there lived several groups of people...Sumerians, Semites, Amorites, Babylonian, Guti, Hurrians, Hittites, the people of Mitanni, Assyrians, Chaldeans and who knows who else. They spoke a variety of languages and had a full pantheon of gods...and they seemed to have tolerated differences, when they weren't fighting...intermarrying and going to each other's parties.

Centuries go by, new people come and things aren't so friendly until the Medes team up with the Babylonians who are themselves shot through with Assyrian blood and they attack Nineveh and in a few generations the Assyrian empire is no more...but the people are still there. It defies logic to insist that as the empire went so went the people. There is no way the conquerors would have killed them all and the kinds of Assyrians we had then didn't die of fright. You just didn't do that back then...it's absurd. This notion comes from the Christians, who are Jews with pants on, and we KNOW they killed every man woman and child and animal because that's the kind of god they have.

Then Jesus gets killed in Israel by the Romans and five Jew fishermen start a new religion by saying he got up and flew to heaven, they saw him and they never lie. By now people are groaning under the weight of the Roman Empire and the idea of having a better life someday and killing all rich fuckers is mighty appealling. We claim we all threw away our cultures the minute we heard about Jesus...I say he was stuffed down our throats by the Romans who knew a good thing when they saw one...but let that go. I won't insist.

So all Assyrians turn Christian and they're as happy as pigs in shit when the Muslims come roaring out of Arabia to break the back of the Byzantine Eastern Roman Empire that's been trying to conquer them for years and has succeeded in stealing the lands of Syria, Egypt and BetNahrain, off and on and incidentally killing all Jews who won't convert and making everyone else Christian...or rather they too fell all over themselves to become Christian of their own free will...so impressed were they by the gentle loving goodness of the Christian armies sweeping over their crops.

Islam beats the crap out of Christianity...army beat the crap out of army...Christians retire to Byzantium and invent the cruelties the world calls "byzantine" and Muslims now run things. No matter how it happened, people start joining up with Muhammad except for some die-hard Christians in the hills. Now...there are not ONLY Assyrians in BetNahrain at this time...first off it's a mixture of blood and types...all those who were there before, besides Assyrians left behind babies and intermarried so no one is pure...the commn languge is just that...a common language spoken by all sorts of people...Egyptians and Jews as well...and since it`s the language of Jews and Assyrians, the Christians in BetNahrain naturally keep it as theirs...as the Muslims adopt Arabic because it comes from the land of their god...as Christianity came from Israel.

Centuries roll by and the Islamic state centered in Baghdad becomes one of the most advanced civilizations of its day, largely due to the fact that the Muslims at least know a good Assyrian/Babylonian/Hurrian/Chaldean etc. thing when THEY see one. But up in the hills where Peter's ancestors were swinging from Christian trees, the people remain huddled in abject poverty and ignorance...much as they have been since...just go to Appalachia in Virginia and see the kind of Christians you don't want to meet.

The centuries roll on some more and the European Christians, having a surplus of out-of-luck second and third sons and a whole bunch of thugs selling their services to battle other thugs and the pope decides it would be better to send them someplace else to kill people who don't count...so the Crusades are born and for several centuries packs of out-of-work Christians and adventurers go to Palestine to murder, rape and rob..and on the way there they kill every Jew they can find and on one Crusade decide to attack the Christian capital of Byzantium instead till the street run with blood and they seize and rule it instead for a few years till they're driven out.

Byzantium eventually falls to the Ottomans who go on to build another magnficent civilization and control BetNahrain for 400 years...but, as will happen, they too begin to rot and decay from the inside so the European Christians mount another Crusade only they call it a World War, their first one...business is good, don't you know. After that war they steal back the lands that have oil and make an "Iraq" and a "Kuwait" and a "Syria" too and the majority of the people still follow the Muslim religion and a minority are still Christians.

Now how, out of this soup...do we KNOW we Christians are the only and true and pure Assyrians? Well, we don't...we just talk like it. Of course there is Assyrian blood in some of us...but there is Persian blood and Mongol blood and Arab blood and Babylonian and Sumerian and Hittite...in fact that blood was probably circulating all over the world even back then. But our boys, who've somehow decided that beng Christian is a true marker of REAL Assyrianism...insist that to be Assyrian at all you cannot be of any other religion.

Even they know that's absurd, so they come up with..."no one else talks about being Assyrian...so they obvously aren't". That would be a poor way to conduct a genetics test...ask people if they've ever "talked about being Assyrian" and based upon their answer, mark them down as "Genus: Assyrian, by way of talking a lot". Not scientific...but funny at parties.

Now, if you were to propose two tests for determining Assyrianiam...even blood Assyrianism and one of them measured the frequency with which people talked about it and put that in one scale and put in the other the actual achievements in things having to do with the Assyrian Heritage and culture, such as excavating, studying, preserving, building museums, buying ventilating systems and humidifiers and attending conferences and writing books (not about crimes done to Christians or anything having to do with religion...but just Assyrian history and archaeology)...which scale do you suppose woud tip down, if not crash...and which would float up as if on hot air?

Of course there are traces of Assyrian genetic markers in the people of BetNahrain and by now, all over the world...as there were traces of Sumerian, Amorite and Hurrian and Babylonian blood in Assyrians back then. What does all this have to do with which religion these people choose, or switch to, or with talking a lot? Well, I'll tell you. Yahwe, being a jealous god, his people are very much prone to it as well because it was a monumentally envious lot that invented him...and for good reason...there wasn't much of anything they could do but get kicked from pillar to post...much like our modern history has been. Christian Assyrians remained extremely jealous and murderously envious of all of Islam`s obvious wealth, culture and success and then later of ANYONE'S success...so much so that they can't even crack a history book open and read for themselves. No one says Muslims invented it all...they just had the good sense to adopt it and embellish upon it, while we ran after the Jews and became more like them than anything BetNahrain had seen. And we still do...feeling more comfortable in the Christian West because we've behaved in ways and continue to, that's made it hot for us in our own Homelands..but ever so pleased as soon as we hit Freedom's Shore...so what if they hate Darkies there...we'll lighten up in time and all be "Jennifers" and "Scotts" and "Tiffanies".

The claim that Iraq belongs to Assyrians is absurd, especially when they dropped every vestige of being Assyrian ages ago. Had the Jews all converted to Buddhism en masse in 100 AD and began worshipping the "Kama Sutra"...okay okay...the "Baghadad Vita"...they'd hardly have a leg to stand upon if they declared, in 1950, that Palestine belonged to them cause it said so in the bible...that book they threw away hundreds of years before...and they now wanted to bring the indigenous religion and people of Israel back...and build Buddhist temples...I mean REALLY!

Iraq belongs to the people living in Iraq and many of them can trace their blood, however that works, back to the ancients...let's concede the point...but what has Christianity or Islam to do with it? Do our boys seriously believe that blood changes when religion does? Well apparently they do as we know of several fathers who turn out a son or daughter for marrying "outside the religion"...even though the Muslim they marry might have even MORE "blood" in them than the nut of a father.

Their entire claim to being Assyrian rests on the fond notion that all Assyrians were "magically" or "naturally" drawn to Christ and away from Ashur...or that there really isn't any difference between the two..which must make Jews chuckle. But even if that was true...it still doesn't explain how Assyrians turning Muslim stopped being Assyrian...they stopped being Christians, it's true...but what does that have to do with anything? Well for one thing it excites the envy and jealousy and by now the hatred in Christians...and you can see how hateful they can be by recalling their "policy" of starving children to death..."enemy" children of the wrong religion.

It's safest, and certainly sanest, to maintain that traces of original Assyrian "stuff" are floating all around the planet and that maybe there's a concentration of that stuff in BetNahrain...and Chicago next. But this stuff doesn't know religion from a hole in the ground. The Muslim Assyrians of Iraq certainly aren't insisting you have to be Muslim to be Assyrian...to live in the land of the Assyrians, to work in the government that governs the lands of Assyria, or work in the museums, or go to schools or the rest of it. Certainly not in the last fifty years. Where our boys feel discriminated against is where they've made these relgious claims a little too loudly...and the government`s reaction is certainly understandable. Iraq has been under seige in one way or another for the last 80 years...up till today and stretching into many tomorrows. It stands to reason that, having seen what Christians welcomed into Iraq when they fleed for their lives from Iran and Turkey, did by joining up with the hated British occupiers, any government of Iraq would keep a wary eye...not on Christians per se...but on any Assyrian Christian making noises about "this land is mine and you stole it"..because these types are fit for being hired into the pay of the same Western Christan forces who attacked them then and are still attacking and now occupying the land...makes perfect sense...nothing strange or beastly about it. I'd clap them all in jail too and there are a couple I'd have hanged as well.

The Christian Assyrians still making these claims and now fighting among each other, couldn't demonstate more effectively that they are merely religious factions, sects and denominations...everyone else sees it, but not them...or rather they sort of suspect it too...that's why they won't make these claims anywhere there isn't someone by to ban and delete all answers to the contrary...it's why Aprim has to self-publish and Peter gives away Hanna's cartoons for free.

Put this post at aina and beth and they're out of business...there isn't a coherent response they could make except to tell us to take the Kurds to court first and then the Turks and then maybe "we'll talk". Dear Lord...clarity is SUCH a wonderful thing...it brings peace to the heart and cools the head. I've earned a cool beer. We'll entertain all challengers...any and all. But will they come?

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