The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> Dear Narsai,

Posted by Farid (Moderator) - Thursday, November 20 2003, 12:41:28 (EST)
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Dear Narsai,

When the time comes for you to breathe your last...may you live a long life till then...I'll sing your soul to hell and place your achievements in perspective...especially your failures as an Assyrian. No one...not a one of us had the potential to do something meaningful for this Heritage than you did...and no one sold out more. You've gone into the kitchen, back among the pots and pans to grease your soul to glory as a great Assyrian Humanitarian...at absolutely no risk to you.

You have that envy disease by the gross...more than anyone I ever met. From the day we first saw each other you've been in competition...not with me personally, but with the Heritage...with the Identity we all claim and dishonor daily. I understad better now why Assyrians fight against each other...our hold on this Identity we claim is so tenuous it can brook no challenge...and any Assyrian with the slightest edge on us, or even a perceived or possible edge(why give him or her the chance?), is our challenge...our enemy" and must be destroyed.

When you're among the top runners in the world you don't scare easily...on the contrary, you seek the best athletes to train and compete against because you know they'll bring the best out in you. When you're at the bottom end...you fear everyone, but most of all those beneath you...after all, they might come up a notch or two and knock you further to the bottom and you already know you're far outclssed by those above. That's why Assyrians listen to and fear the most the stupidest among them. All you can do is make the most of your lowly status...but it shows. The trophy you decide you deserve for the poor showing you made, "for trying", is cheap gilded tinsel...because that's what you are. That's why our functions look the way they do...except for yours, but then you learned that for your work...you ran from anything Assyrian...except what could benefit you personally, the sausages...if we got some good out of it...well okay, you weren't averse to the idea...neither is Jackie or Nimrod or Sarguis or Dadeeshoo or the Whacki Rabbi of Eye-Raki.

We have absolutely no self-assurance that we're Assyrians in any meaningful way or any way at all...inspite of, or maybe even BECAUSE of, all the talk we do. And we fear the most the other Assyrian who might display a greater sense of who he or she is...outdo us in "Assyrianism", especially if that person does something certifiably "Assyrian". That's why I became the Assyrian to hate...to undo. When I wouldn't give in, wouldn't allow my work to be smeared and misused at the last minute...I became the "enenma" of Assyria. I refused to give you extra mention for the work you did on the Asurbanipal, even though I didn't sign the piece myself, it unhinged you and it took all these years for you to see your openning.

You blamed my "stubborn nature" for what happened in Mexico with Reynolds and his gang. You could have seen my empathy and then generosity in helping a family down on its luck with two children to feed instead. That's what began it...not a stubborn nature...except maybe to do good where it's possible...even without advertisement. When the deal went sour and I learned what kind of man I was dealing with...what would you have had me do? What was the Assyrian thing to do? Cut and run? Would that have been the wise thing to do...the correct...the cautious? When a man shows such rank ingratitude and on top of it threatens your daughter to your face and attacks you...what's the Assyrian thing to do? Not the Christian...the Assyrian. What would you have done...and if your answer is you wouldn't have gotten into that situation in the first place, then I remind you you didn't go lookng to create an Assyrian monument "in the first place" either...even though you tell people you set up our foundation and "hired" me to make the Ashurbanipal. I hired YOU...and it galled you along with everything else. There wasn't a single time you could get the better of me, not in a fair fight and it amazed you and troubled you all the more because I bested you with such ease...something no one else had ever done. One day...one day, you would make your move. Burying my sculptures in storage wasn't enough...you had to break me as well...the "threat" to your identity as an Assyrian...the thing all of them fear. You never acted the part of a patron, one who understands that by making a success out his artist he increases thye value of his own collection. You just wanted me tied to you and dependent, so you'd be able to keep me a secret...like we all do with this Heritage...something to be kept for personal use and benefit.

Our sense of being Assyrian is a bubble any prick can puncture...the world could give a shit and either accepts us at our estimation of ourselves or ignores us completely. We're afraid of each other and have done more damage to each other and ourselves than any Turks ever did. It's one thing to have an enemy at the door..it's another thing when the enemy is within. How do you fight that? You do it the way you did.

I asked you for money to fight back at these people in court...which is where they had me because enough people believed in them and provided them with lawyers and interpreters and everything else they needed. They actualy believed there would be a movie made and they'd all play parts. What they didn't know was that behind the scenes, when Reynolds and his wife plotted alone, they were setting up a scenario in which I could be seriously injured if not killed off with all the alibis firmly in place so it would be the word of all of them against me...my family wasn't to be believed because they would support me naturally.

You sent $1,500 when I asked for $2,000. Why? Did you not have the extra $500? In these last two years I was able to save you close to $80,000 in taxes you would have had to pay. And there would have been more. If you were short $500 could you not have gotten a friend or an Assyrian to buy a sulpture from me? Even at a steep discount so I could avoid prison? Look deep into your black, insanely envious heart and see if you couldn't have done it. How about a benefit luncheon to save the one Assyrian sculptor we've produced who placed the first Assyrian Monument anywhere in 2500 years. I tell you what though...had Reynolds managed to trample me with his horse...1000 pounds of frantic animal, as he had every intention of doing...and had I been seriously injured, or better yet killed...I could have counted on you to hold a fundraiser dinner for my "miskeeni" children. At that function YOU would finally have been the undisputed star...weeping over "your friend and that great sculptor etc."

Without the money for lawyers I had to go it alone and today Reynolds and his family have disappeared, the Mexican FBI is still pissed at me and the two strongest supporters and liars they had working for them sold their house and have left the country for good. I got it done my way...but I risked ten years in prison to do it. What's the matter...that kind of Assyrian scare you? Does it frighten the rest of them too?

And now you want the Shumrium...just to round out your infamy and greed. How little the people who dine at your table once a year know you. I tell you what though. You'll be gone soon. This may well be the last AAS dinner you'll hold. And only because you can't risk your "reputaion"...not with Assyrians...fuck Assyrians, they're another means to an end with you...but you'll worry about Macy's and CBS and the people who PAY YOU.

There's either a new day for us as Assyrians or this thing is over...and like the Hammurabi, I'd far prefer to be the one to weild the hammer than let you piss it away. You'll be gone...I promise you.

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