The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> Gorillas in the midst

Posted by Farid (Guest) - Monday, October 6 2003, 11:44:48 (EDT)
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What in Ashur's name are we all talking about? If I converted to Islam tomorrow...or became a Druid or Buddhist, would I still "be" Assyrian? I'd feel the same way I do right now...just as intrigued by and interested in establishing some kind of presence in the world for the Assyrian heritage...especially as America and the Brits and who knows who else, pull out their long knives and get set to dine.

To our Aprims and BooHoos...once you switch from Christianity, or stop demanding a country or two...you're no longer Assyrian...as if begging and whining and then hiring assassins were common Assyrian traits. It's just dawning on me that the Assyrian "heritage" is as much Muslim as Christian as any other religion...and that the Muslims of Iraq did a hell of a lot more to preserve our ancient treasures than any Christians outside of Iraq ever did. We've simply elected to call our Christian traditions "Assyrian" and our secondary role in Muslim countries, due largely to our duplicity and eggheadedness, has fueled this insistece that we're really Ashurbanipal's grandchildren and to prove it we pull out our baptismal records.

As dissociated as we feel the Muslims are from any meaningful Assyrianism...so are we Christians. Who does anything Assyrian? Our Christians answer that every Christian thing they do is Assyrian because they were among the first to convert...HUH? This is sheer madness...and if you didn't rationalize your way through this maze of nonsense to arrive at that conclusion, just the sight and sounds of these "Assyrians" should be enough to convince you.

I take back what I said about no Christian doing anything Assyrian. My cousin, Dr. Sharrukin Yelda of Chicago has apparently given the Oriental Institute a bundle of cash for their recently completed Assyrian Wing...so much so that they've named a court or gallery for him. Power to him...I'm happy as hell to be wrong. But, to his credit...he ain't any sort of a Christian...so his devotion must have some elements of pure Assyrianism to it...which can be defined without recourse to that screwy dictionary Hanna wrote, or at the cost of numerous headaches as simply promoting what CAN BE promoted relating to the ancient Assyrians...as Muslim Iraq has done for generations. Their problems have been with Christians...hardly with Assyrian history and heritage which they rightly revere and see as only one of many rich cultures that amazing piece of real estate gave to the world...and as proof I'd refer you to our Christians who weep for Nazareth, Bethlehem and Jerusalem and help bomb Baghdad...because it's "Muslim". These are Assyrians?

Come to think of it the awe and reverence with which people look to the "Holy Land" is really misplaced. Dig as they might all they've found are pots and pans...a urinal or two and some scrolls in a cave. Compare that to the area between those blessed rivers...and see what a Great People...whose deeds and not their advertisements show what they achieved...then go hang your head in sorrow that any country or Christian Gang of countries would dare make a garbage dump of BetNahrain.

There was another fiesta in San Miguel today...a really colorful one with people dressed as Aztec warriors and maidens...with drummers banging away...various troupes marching through the city, pausing here and there to dance...then move on. The costumes were gorgeous...long gracefull feathered headresses, some brilliantly colored...bangles...conch shells in strings tied to ankles so they shook and rattled as the dancers went about their business. Thigh-cut dresses, half naked men deleriously twirling and whooping. I couldn't help but compare it to the anemic Assyrian parades we have...where they buy cheap cloth from Woolworths and get four hairy beasts in skirts to pull a cardboard chariot with a "queen" in it whose winning characteristic is the smallest possible nose.

The people who dance in the streets here aren't doctors and lawyers or businessmen...they aren't well-off by any means..their country was as "stolen" as any other and they too converted to Christianity...one way or another. Yet they spare no expense to make their costumes as rich and detailed as they can and I'm sure it costs them plenty. I saw pride in action...the real thing...no weeping and wailing for a stolen land...no demands that Mexico City be turned over to its "rightful owners"...and therefore no moping and whinning and pissing...just a hearty celebration of what used to be...glad to think it had ever existed and that these few people were a part of it...which they demonstrate by doing the BEST they can...instead of going through the motions...as we do.

Just where is this Assyrian pride represented? I'm even beginning to feel like I've been the biggest horses's ass of all...I mean I spent over 20 years doggedly believing somethning and risking, really risking, everything for it...and I'm still paying the fucking fiddler. What the hell was I doing it for? Just what is an "Assyrian heritage" anyway?

Who wears Assyrian clothes...what's Assyrian food that isn't Arab or Turkish or Persian or Greek and Armenian...or Babylonian, Hurrian, Mittanian, Chaldean, Mandean too for that matter? As far as the language goes it isn't even Assyrian...it's Aramaic and the only reason it survived at all is because of the goddamned church again...and they want to take credit for it...as if that "saved" us. Well what the hell language were they going to chant their voodoo in besides the one in current use at the time? Did we expect them to speak French...Latin...Hebrew? What's that you say...the Hebrews also picked up on the language of Aram??? Christ spoke the language of the Arameans??? So how does that make us "saved" AS ASSYRIANS by the church? They had to be understood by the people they were preaching to...what would you have expected them to use if NOT Aramaic? That was no attempt to "save Assyrians"...it was a crafty and sensible move to use the language at hand...the one they adopted from Aram...to turn them AGAINST Ashur! They didn't save a fucking thing but their own coin...and never meant to...just like today and for all those intervening centuries.

We have a few festivals not tied to Judaism...but I think we shared those with lots of other people. I can't think of anything we can point to with any certainty and say..."that is Assyrian". Jews can do it with lots of things because enough of them remained loyal to Yahwe...but Assyrian? Hell we're STILL bragging about how quickly and completely we let go of Ashur and his "silly" religion..."all glory" to Abgar who had a headache and converted to the first guy's religion who brought him an aspirin.

But, if the belief that you're of Assyrian descent moves you to give millions to a University to fund an Assyrian antiquities wing...or establish a chair in some branch of scholarship tied to this heritage, then I'd say you were "Assyrian"...cause you DID something about it.

These other guys, the BooHoos et all...all they could do was slam anyone who did anything remotely Assyrian...and then "talk a lot" about BEING Assyrian...which by their usage of the word means getting Muslims killed and trying to steal their property...two decidedly Christian things indeed...but hardly Assyrian.

There's no way to escape the conclusion that religion aside...the people of Iraq are about the closest thing there's going to be to descendants of an Assyrian heritage INSIDE what used to be Assyria. The next closest will be those who help them...and next those who help maintain the artifacts and encourage research and exploration. The others are merely using the tie-in to get ahead in their community...like Jackie, or distinguish and set themselves apart, "apartheid, from the dreaded Muslims...or blind us to their inherent stupidity and slipshod "accomplishments", like BooHoo and Aprim and those geological formations at aina...and you can forget about bethuryoyo...they still haven't gotten over one friggin Bishop.

In fact if you could SEE any evidence in action of pride in an Assyrian heritage you might feel some legitimacy in these claims. But where is it? Instead all you get are the CLAIMS themselves. They'll labor like gnats to raise a few million to build another church and call THAT "Assyrian". The Muslim Arabs invaded BetNahrain centuries ago because they didn't want the Byzantine Christian Romans doing it...on their way to conquer Arabia. After settling in they eventully inherited the cultures and history of that region. What's so hard to accept about that? For 1300 years...twice as long as that region was Christian, they've been the dominant force there and for just as long the Christians have refused to recognize the "legitimacy" of History...or to participate in what became THE most civilized culture of its day. Instead they hung out in Christian back-alleys and huddled with priests in ruined churches and wailed and wept for their "losses"...as Christians. What they gave up willingly, even gladly, of Assyrianism didn't bother them...but what was imposed on them did. That's like Hillbillies of Eastern Virginia refusing to leave their hog wallers for 200 years since the Revolution...what kind of intellectual or cultural development and maturity would you expect to find among the corn pone? That's the "Assyrian" community in Turlock...and Modesto and Chicago and San Jose for you.

When these people get a tear in their eye, it isn't for Ashur...it's for Jesus. They live, breathe, eat, sleep and shit Christ...and that's all they do. All this ZOWAA crap and Aid Society hoohaa are just Christians helping maintain a Christian presence so they can have something to piss and moan about. They know damn well it isn't going to get them a country or a parking lot for one...but it's one way, a noble-sounding way, to butter their bread and grease their souls for an easier slide into a Jew heaven...a suppository for a soul...that's what they've got...right up Yahwe's arse and their glad to go there. It just sounds better to make claims for reparations as "Assyrians" than it does as Christians...that's all.

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