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=> My Delted response....

My Delted response....
Posted by parhad (Guest) - Friday, April 16 2004, 9:29:32 (EDT)
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of course I will...but good books and poetry and lives and stories ansd pain and love and lust aren`t made for the closet..they aren`t for dark, dank spaces...so write it and scream and fuck it out in the open...our familes, our friends and especially our fucking nationalists all act like what they claim they believe the most and love the most...should be saved for dark secret places like they were masturbating for the first time in their lives..and in a way they are.

I didn`t realize you were trapped in marriage..what the hell are you doing married anyway..I always thought you went all the way and told men to take a hike. Are you sure you`ve not stopped at the last barrier...that you`re unwilling to dump all pretenses?

Brilliant women live with a loaded gun to their temple all the time...24 hours a day it never leaves them...brilliant children the same way. The world is SO fucking crazy and resents like hell being reminded that it merely kills off brilliance...the kind that SEES things, I mean..they like engineers just fine.

I know xactly how you feel..the feeling will never leave you...I mean the feeling that something isn`t quite right..but it isn`t YOU who isn`t quite right. A sane person GOES INSANE..the crazy ones chug right along. A neurotic...maybe even a psychotic, is a failed artist...something burns inside they just can`t find an outlet for..but it`s OKAY that you`re burning up inside..that isn`t the problem..the problem is the cage you`ve got yourself in...and it`s worst of all for brilliant women who PUT themselves in one...it`s a burden...but you have no choice..it`s that or kill yourself..but why? It`s only this painfull because you`re choking yourself..and for god`s sake give up on the Revolutionary brother and sister bullshit..these people are NOT brothers...it`s comforting to think you landed among a group of right-thinking people..but there is no such thing..you`re on your own..you really truly are...once you accept it and plan on being alone you`ll be amazed to find how many people are out there just like you..and as odd as it sounds you`ll finally be able to be alone TOGETHER...and there`s no better company than that.

I dumped all that revolutionary crap long ago, never believed any of it from the start...as one woman told me..no matter what Movement you`re in with these fuckers they NEVER make the coffee or take out the garbage..same with the Black Liberation movement..so long as the women were ALLIED and ONE with their "brothers"..they were just cleaning up after "Revolutionaries". The only Revolutionary who seemed to understand women as people was John Lennon...he and Yoko sang their love and growth as it happened and they shared it with everybody.

The only real revolution takkes place inside of you...not out there. You ARE a revolutionary...but go all the way...a rebel fights against the rope tying him or her..a revolutionary cuts it and walks away. Walk away. You don`t need a husband at this stage..you may think you do..and you sure as hell don`t need a rehab one..at their best men make good corks...anything less than that and they just take you down with them..because they sink you LOWER than they go..so to them it`s always just a little bit better.

Why the hell did you wait this long to explode??? Anyway...it takes guts to do it publicly, especially among us where it takes a lot of guts to brush our Nationalist Teeth. There is not a greater bunch of weasely, whining, cowardly, stupid men on earth than these Christian Assyrian ones who pose as Assyrians and Nationalists...I wouldn`t have one for a servant..but a BROTHER?

...don`t take back anything you just said...son`t think we`ll not respect you in the morning..don`t give a damn WHAT anyone thinks...Assyrians especially will make anything up about you anyway..instead of fearing their small minds run down the street naked in broad daylight..cause they`ll say they saw you anyway..it`s really rather liberating..they think to scare you with threats to "expose you"..like Aprim did with me when he said he`d tell everyone what I do with my children...since he was going to be so honest..I reminded him of the time he and I were French kissing in a toilet and got busted..a week later he disappeared for a year..these people are NOTHINGS..to be in awe of them or even acknowledge their existence, let alone their ability to hurt you...makes you do the greatest damage to YOURSELF..fuck them...but don`t fuck yourself another minute.

You write with a white hot pen...if you DON`T write it will burn you...you have no choice...either you`re gonna live..I mean REALLY live..or you`re going to be dead..you may still walk around..but you`ll be dead.



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