The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> Re: My Delted response....

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Friday, April 16 2004, 11:15:31 (EDT)
from 200.94.235.202 - 200.94.235.202 -

Windows XP -

Internet Explorer
Website:
Website title:

Warrior Empress wrote:
>Fred,
>
>Delete my post. This time I am asking you personally. Please do it. I am tired.
>

...No.

>I feel I am fucking dead. I don't go out anymore. I got married coz I thought it would be a fun adventure to go on. That was a year ago. I am not even 25. Believe me, I shocked myself and everyone around me. This was the craziest thing the Empress had ever done. ANd yet I thought it was the sanest. I am tired of those around me considering me to be unstable, but I guess I just fucking am.

...you are posing. In the same post you are asking you be deleted...you too are "agonizing". You are leading an inauthentic life...you are m,aking yourself suffer...you are victimizing yourself.

...you sent that post out of your heart into the world...sorry. It doesn`t belong to you any longer. Let that be a lesson to you..you want to be real? It REALLY hurts!
>
>My mum called me today. I think I might go home for a while. I think I will save some money and travel again. Its the only thing that makes me real. I need to cry for about 100 years because I had such high goddamned expectations of myself. I am no artist. I cant even write. I cant even speak eloquently. I think I would like to study law, I'd like to be a rich bitch in a suit driving a BMW. Maybe I'll finally write my screenplay.

...you`re running from you...you aren`t travelling. You aren`t going to a place because of the place..you`re going there to get away from the place you`re at.

...you`re bulshitting yourself...go ahead..but don`t try it on me. I felt all the same "anguish"..it`s all a pose. You`re at the edge of something and you`re afraid to leap...you HAVE to leap if you would truly save yourself..to crawl back from the edge is to crawl forever..go ahead but I`m not helping you crawl.
>
>The Buddha said life is suffering and its fucking true. I always thought I was depressed but nothing beats this. Betty Friedan called it "the disease with no name". I call it mundanaety. I can't stand it anymore. I cant understand peoples mediocre lives anymore. It doesnt fulfill me, IT DOESNT FULFILL ME!!!

...sex isn`t foreplay forever..neither is Life. Life is beautiful and it`s fun and it`s a breeze and a delight..if you agree to live it, which you haven`t so far.
>
>I want to be a poet. I want to learn olde English and write an epic like Tolkein. I want to smoke my cigarettes in a dark cafe, with a few other dark individuals who relate to me. I don't want children. Ever. I dont want a husband. Ever. I want my own house by the sea and I want to be a vegetarian again. Meat is killing me.

...all the things you want are waiting for you...others found the way there..you can too. You just haven`t made up your mind yet...the posts you placed were a step in the right direction...taking them back was your fear taking over...again. Fear to be authentic. You can`t be phony and real at the same time..not even within minutes of each other.
>
>ANyways, enough of my bleeding fucking heart post-teenage angst crap on here. I feel like a fucking American sitcom.

...only because it`s easier and safer. Whatever angst you`re feeling is made up..it`s cardboard..it`s a cover for your fear. There`s nothing to writing...to living..nothing to it all...if you aren`t afraid.
>
>Please delete my initial post. Really, please, do it.

...No.
>
>Thankyou,

...you are welcome.
>
>The Empress.

...not any longer. You just took the crown from off your own head...women do it all the time. besides Betty Freidan try Shulamith Firestone...go over Germaine Greer again...Gloria Steinam...did you stop at "The Feminie Mystique"? Have you plowed through "The Second Sex"?...they all say the same thing...do not be afraid...what you fear most is really your salvation...you just don`t know it because you live in a world of frightened men whose only comfort comes from making you even more fearful than they are.

Tell your uncles from me to fuck off.

---------------------

- BACK TO INDEX - REPLY - QUOTE - EDIT - DELETE -

The full topic:

GODDAMN IT!!! parhad - Friday, April 16 2004, 9:26:28 (EDT)
- My Delted response.... parhad - 04/16 09:29
  - can`t work... parhad - 04/16 10:43
  - Re: My Delted response.... Warrior Empress - 04/16 10:48
    - Re: My Delted response.... parhad - 04/16 11:15

Accept: image/gif, image/x-xbitmap, image/jpeg, image/pjpeg, application/vnd.ms-powerpoint, application/vnd.ms-excel, applicatio...
Accept-encoding: gzip, deflate
Accept-language: es-mx
Cache-control: no-cache
Connection: Keep-Alive
Content-length: 4546
Content-type: application/x-www-form-urlencoded
Cookie: *hidded*
Host: www.insideassyria.com
Referer: http://www.insideassyria.com/rkvsf/rkvsf_core.php?Re_My_Delted_response-5Rjq.08Iw.QUOTE
User-agent: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; MSN 6.1; MSNbMSFT; MSNmes-mx; MSNc00; v5m)