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=> Re: My Delted response....

Posted by Warrior Empress (Guest) - Friday, April 16 2004, 10:48:49 (EDT)
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Fred,

Delete my post. This time I am asking you personally. Please do it. I am tired.

I feel I am fucking dead. I don't go out anymore. I got married coz I thought it would be a fun adventure to go on. That was a year ago. I am not even 25. Believe me, I shocked myself and everyone around me. This was the craziest thing the Empress had ever done. ANd yet I thought it was the sanest. I am tired of those around me considering me to be unstable, but I guess I just fucking am.

My mum called me today. I think I might go home for a while. I think I will save some money and travel again. Its the only thing that makes me real. I need to cry for about 100 years because I had such high goddamned expectations of myself. I am no artist. I cant even write. I cant even speak eloquently. I think I would like to study law, I'd like to be a rich bitch in a suit driving a BMW. Maybe I'll finally write my screenplay.

The Buddha said life is suffering and its fucking true. I always thought I was depressed but nothing beats this. Betty Friedan called it "the disease with no name". I call it mundanaety. I can't stand it anymore. I cant understand peoples mediocre lives anymore. It doesnt fulfill me, IT DOESNT FULFILL ME!!!!

I want to be a poet. I want to learn olde English and write an epic like Tolkein. I want to smoke my cigarettes in a dark cafe, with a few other dark individuals who relate to me. I don't want children. Ever. I dont want a husband. Ever. I want my own house by the sea and I want to be a vegetarian again. Meat is killing me.

ANyways, enough of my bleeding fucking heart post-teenage angst crap on here. I feel like a fucking American sitcom.

Please delete my initial post. Really, please, do it.

Thankyou,

The Empress.

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The full topic:

GODDAMN IT!!! parhad - Friday, April 16 2004, 9:26:28 (EDT)
- My Delted response.... parhad - 04/16 09:29
  - can`t work... parhad - 04/16 10:43
  - Re: My Delted response.... Warrior Empress - 04/16 10:48
    - Re: My Delted response.... parhad - 04/16 11:15

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