Re: Probing The Silence |
Posted by
parhad
(Guest)
- Monday, February 16 2004, 12:05:56 (EST) from 148.233.135.73 - inet-gto-aztecas-1-fddi5-0-0.uninet.net.mx Mexico - Windows 98 - Internet Explorer Website: Website title: |
Every time I read or hear about a crime that seems beyond human comprehension and believability, I say to myself, “this can’t be real.” And then later, I think, surely it can’t get worse than this… and then it does. Sure, there have even been times when I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs, “STOP THE BUS; LET ME OFF!” I think we have all had those moments when we just wanted to end it all, because it just doesn’t make sense anymore and no matter how hard you try to make sense of it all, you just CAN’T! Yeah, I’ve had plenty of moments like that. And what seems so crushing about it is, that it’s so pervasive. We tolerate just about anything now. ...if you believe in a god who runs the show, then sure...you`d become cynnical with the passage of time. If you believe in Humans...and leave gods alone....it`s been a marvellous ride through history and things are getting better all the time...and will get a lot better when we dump the morality we got from Hebrew fishermen and Roman butchers 2000 years ago. I could have made a better world than god did...so could you. And I wouldn`t hesitate a minute to do it too, if I had the chance...and I do...I have the opportunity to think for myself and see what I can add to the world...I`m not about to adopt the morality of Hottentots on an island somewhre or that of the Hebrews...which is all a Christian is. I have great respect for the achievements of the Hebrews, especially in light of what the other bunch of them, the Christians, did to them all those centuries...but I also have great respect for Assyrian wisdom and culture and history and as much as I might like the people who live down the street, I`ll reserve my most passionate feelings for my own family...if it`s all the same to you. It’s like we’re on this wild, uncontrollable ride down a steep mountainside with no end in sight. ...what would you rather...that no one is driving the bus...or god is? So, how do I get back on track? Well, the first step for me is to stop the, self-talk, which is trying to make sense of it all. I have to tell myself over and over, that it will never make sense, because that’s what free-will is all about. ...how that pleases the pope...that you have no use for "sense". I revere Wisdom and Reason and the reasonable wisdom of a Faith that comes from those...I do NOT believe in miraculous nonsense BECAUSE it is SO nonsensical it MUST be true. I love my child, though I know he or she has limitations...but I expect they`ll grow and develop with time and still make mistakes...I do not wish to keep them children so they won`t "err". The question mark still lingers though. The thought still persists that if free-will is subject, so often, to such a feather-touch deflection into the dark side of insanity, then what chance do any of us ever have of putting things right and bringing ourselves back to the road of sanity? The only reply I hear is… silence, deafening silence, no answer; just more silence. That’s where I probe though… in the silence. ...your problems are solved...you`re nuts already...why worry? > In spite of it all, I believe. I don’t think it’s the believing part that’s important though; at least not for me. What’s important for me is continually asking myself, “how much do I believe this?” Do I believe this enough to back it up with my words and my actions? Would I sacrifice my life for this? ...dying is easy...so is killing others...it`s tough to live...really live. I have to test myself. I have failed more often than I have succeeded, but I persist… I keep trying… I will keep on trying… I will never give up trying. ...you`re wasting your time and energy on the wrong road...no one says you shouldn`t work and try hard and all the rest of it...just not on the road that helped bring us to the point where you wail more than you sing...there comes a time when you go down other roads...you`d have remained a caveman had you lived 20,000 years ago...still "agonizing" over whether Slugnug was the way to go...don`t be afraid to grow and grow up...it`s quite nice really. Infantalism is for infants. >The Nineveh Kid --------------------- |
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