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=> addressing the united nations at last

addressing the united nations at last

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Sunday, April 11 2004, 18:30:25 (EDT)
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It finally happened...The Secretary General of The United Nations issued a personal invitation to all Assyrian organizations to send a spokesperson to lay their case before that fair and deliberative body. This began the usual name calling ans back-stabbing as each club and organization said it had more members and was therefore the legitimate representaive of the Assyrian people. Fearing another scandal when everybody sent everbody to try to get to the podium, it was decided to hold a drawing...a raffle to see who would be the representative of the Assyrian people.

Though no one had any confidence in the accuracy of the draw...since the people chosen to manage it were heard to yell BINGO! every so often...but the Great Assyrian people were getting bored and the deadline to address the General Assembly for that year was coming to a close in another week...so the best face was put on the outcome and the fellow we`ll still call Doozoota, the one who doesn`t know he lives in New Jersey, boarded a bus for the trip to Manhattan.

Peter and Ferd and the boys had all offered to go in his place and when he refused their offers...said they would load him up with enough facts to get Iraq, Syria, Turkey AND Monte Carlo. But still Doozoota refused...saying he had more than enough information culled from his own manuscripts and needed no help.

Arriving at the UN on the subway, Dooz (for short) made his way up the steps where he was asked to show his credentials...sensing his moment as representative and spokesperson for the Assyrian Nation had come and that it was historical too...he answered..."Eat shit you son of a whore...we are the only Assyrians and we don`t need to prove it to anybody". Alarmed, the doorman called on Security and two gentleman arrived who turned out to be known to Dooz already..he recognized one of them right off as a "cocksucking fag"...and the other as the son of the mother who "sucked dicks for a living".

The situation looked bad for the Assyrian People as Security called for police back-up but fortunately an escort arrived at that time whom Dooz recognized as another son of a whore...and this unfortunate man cleared Dooz and smoothed things over so they were allowed to pass through the lobby to the elevators.

Pacing nervoulsy in a waiting area until he could be introduced...Dooz asked a man from Nigeria to stop looking st him "that way". When the gentleman asked what he could possibly mean, Dooz responded by calling the man the son of a but fucking faggot and ordered him out of the room.

Finally Dooz was called before the Genral Assembly and you`d have thought he was to the manor born...for he behaved as comfortable as if he was in his own garage. The speaker at the podium introduced Dooz by his actual name..it escapes me just now...and tunred the floor over to him.

Dooz strode deliberately to the microphone and greeted the representatives of the various nations by saying it was about time the sons of bitches got around to recognizing his inalienable rights to the lands of the people living there...and he went on in that vein for some time till a few of the delegates began to nod off and a couple manged to struggle to their feet and slowly walk out. The fourth time this happened Dooz yelled out that they were all the sons and daughters of whores..that the women there would fall to fucking for small change...and the men would all be giving ass in Bedford Sty while he and his Great People would be back in Assyria where they always belonged..he said he didn`t give a damn or a fuck either what they thought...and he refused to answer any questions, calling them smelly assholes for even suggesting such a thing.

As his time was up he ended abruptly by flipping them off with both hands and emitting a bodacious fart as he strode off the stage. Back in New Jersey he was greeted with loud applause and the thankful tears of a nation too long ignored and denied its greatness. A ticker tape parade was talked of but no one had any or knew what it was.

Long after the delegates who`d been present during the presentation of the Assyrian Case wondered why the fellow was so upset when there`d been a Syria since any of them could remember.

Word is Dooz and his family and a few friends have been packed for close to a year awaiting their re-patriation. We`ll let you know when that happens...

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