The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> in which the kid wrings his heart

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Friday, March 26 2004, 8:29:27 (EST)
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I never read this when the Kid posted it last time he had a hormonal rush. It explains a lot...doesn`t justify anything...a hard luck story doesn`t mean you HAVE to grow up an asshole...but it explains why you MIGHT.

Let`s see...where does the self-pity begin?...

> I tried to answer your questions. If you don't like my answers, that's
> okay with me, but I can't accept your concession. I just want to say
> this before I leave: I know a kid who grew up in the U.S. This kid's
> parents' were both Assyrian. Both of them are dead. The kid grew up in a
> string of foster homes.

...that is indeed sad and unfortunate. I saw enough of these kids to know the odds they were up against. It`s hard to love yourself when you can`t find anyone in your early years who`ll show you how its done...but then lots of children grow up in abusive homes where it would be better if the parents HAD died.

He never knew anything about his heritage before
> he finished High School. He didn't know he was Assyrian, let alone what
> an Assyrian even was.

...well that hasn`t changed...you still don`t. You`ve done what all of us were forced to do..accept the notion that we are Assyrian and should be proud..but ONLY because we STOPPED being Assyrians and became something "better". No one gives up on a heritage such as we had willingly unless they are unstable to begin with or feel cheated and dumped on in that heritage and believe the promises dished out...no one. The Messiah story comes from the Jews for a good reason...as the Epic of Gilgamesh came from us as a product of who we were and how we viewed life.

The best the Hebrews could do was squat on a dunghill no one else wanted...Joshua NEVER blew anybody to get a city for them...that`s horseshit...The Hebrews were conquered by every boy scout troop that came along...probably because they were too busy slitting each other`s throats for god to band together. They NEEDED a Messiah...they couldn`t get to first base on their own...Jesus makes sense if you`re a Jew...he makes absolutely NO sense if you are Assyrians...Assyrians didn`t NEED a Messiah to take them anywhere after death...they had life in abundance and good times right here on earth and they put their time and ability to good use by inventing civilization and there was such an excess of that article in BetNahrain that the Jews picked up a few of the crumbs from our rich table but even got THAT wrong.

...so, relax. No one knows what it is to be Assyrian in the modern era yet...they`re all under the same impression you are...you STILL know nothing of your heritage.

It was a miracle that this kid survived long
> enough to find out that he had a heritage, but it didn't matter, because
> he never felt like he was connected to anything anyway.

...in the long run that`s the best way to feel. Find your own connections.

All of his
> foster parents were of European ancestry and they made sure he knew his
> place. This kid almost gave up trying to make sense out of it all. When
> he learned about his heritage, it almost felt like he was coming home.

...it may have felt like it...but you were only going to ANOTHER foster home...another one you don`t belong in...keep travelling...and look for your home within yourself...and yourself ain`t Christian...can`t be...not if you`re Assyrian. It`s like my telling you you can`t be Muslim if you`re really Jewish...and how lost you`d STILL be if you insisted to me that Allah is the same as Yahwe...even though they spring from the same exact source not even THEY are the same...Ashur had nothing to do with Hebrews..that simple.

> He soon learned, however, that without the cultural background and
> family ties he didn't belong there either. Not growing up with the
> culture, he felt just as invisible among his own people as he did with
> all those foster families.

...it isn`t an Assyrian culture...it`s a Christian village Idiot culture. It`s like calling the Blacks of Tennessee representative of African culture...they represnt what happens when you fuck OVER African culture...same with us...we just don`t have any Assyrian culture anywhere left to compare with...and so the boys tell us their Christian culture MUST BE Assyrian as well...silly really.

It was just natural for a kid like that to
> try to compensate I guess. No one can exist in total isolation for very
> long. Anyway, this kid got in a lot of trouble with the law (it started
> in his early teen years actually and picked up again after he finished
> high school). He got into drugs, didn't care about anything or anyone.
> He went on like that for a while until he enlisted.

...shit happens...it`s no reason to keep MAKING it happen.

While he was serving
> he wound up in a hospital for a while (about a year). While he was there
> in the hospital, he met another patient. This patient happened to be
> Mexican. Really nice fellow. Anyway, the Mexican fellow and his wife and
> mother-in-law befriended this Assyrian kid, kind of took him under their
> wing. Well, this sort of renewed this kid's faith in humanity and it was
> the faith that the Mexican fellow and his family shared with him that
> converted that Assyrian.

...uh oh. This is where your shit hit the fan and you REALLY got clobbered...though of course you are grateful for the kind decency of these people. If your faith was renewed simply because YOU got a benefit...then it wasn`t really "renewed". In your gratitude to them you ascribed their goodness to god...big mistake but a common one. God is a most indecent fellow...read the bible some time...ALL of it...read about the butcher shoppe he made of the planet. Those people were "good" like several pagans and heathens have been good....people are good...god sucks.

...they may have worshipped the color blue...out of gratitude and looking for a family to come home to...which can never happen...you decided blue would be your favorite color too...had you had a decent foster family who`d been Chinese...guess what you would feel towards chop suey? These are all understandable in a kid...but you really should try to stop being one...it`s unbecomming.

That was the only time in his life that this
> kid felt like he had a family, and they weren't even Assyrian.

...everything about you is inauthentic but don`t feel badly...you are a member in good standing of millions of people who also have no clue as to what they might be a part of ...almost EVERYONE is leading a phony life, popping pills and loving it. You know nothing of Assyian anything...none of us do. You might as well be Mexican as Chinese for all the "Assyrian" you are.

Now this
> kid is trying to make something out of whatever is left of his life. I'd
> just like to leave you with this thought. This kid, I think, is an
> idiot. Just like you said, in all of your posts.

...it isn`t congenital..the kid is a willfull idiot..he LIKES being an idiot,...it`s comforting like the constant repitition of the Kid`s philosophy and religion...doesn`t mean a damn thing...your conversion to decency had nothing to do with god...it had to do with decent people. I took lots of kids like you in and lived with them and worked with them and all the rest of it..and I was NEVER Christian or god fearing or believing or any of that crud...you just need to do the right thing in life..on your OWN...not because you`re a kid looking for parents and gods.

Christianity won't give
> this kid's life meaning or purpose will it?

...of course not...it will give it direction...like Bush is pointed at innocent people..and oh so many other Christians..that`s why you people have the bloodiest history in the world...you all have a purpose...no one claims you`re killing people willy nilly...your purpose is to wash the blood from off of Constantine`s sword so he can feelgoodabouthimself.

He was better off when he
> was living in the streets from hand to mouth, taking drugs and stealing
> cars.

...I knew you`d end an idiot. You`re so fucking consistent...so damn predictable. All of this sob story was just another hackneyed paen to your idiotic religious beliefs...go fly to heaven will you. If the only way you could find to get off the streets was to dump your mind in the gutters there...okay, I suppose you`re better off. Big deal...you`d be just as thrilled to be dead.
>

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