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Posted by parhad (Guest) - Thursday, December 18 2003, 16:52:01 (EST)
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I love languages.

I remember the time I was interviewed for Assyrian News Worldwide in Chicago and in answer to a perfectly innocent question from the TV reporter about my second monument being that of a woman, blurted out the equivalent of..."I first thought I'd fuck (make) a man in San Francisco and then fuck a woman for Chicago".

Then there was the first year I really started speaking Assyrian since I was five and committed all sorts of delightful blunders. At my first convention ever, held in the then brand new Bonaventure Hotel in Los Angeles...I tried my hand at only replying in Assyrian and when the lovely and most elegant family of Persian Assyrians asked where I was staying...I came up with, "I'm farting here right now"...which was my mixed up rendition of what should have been..."anna pyashin lakha"...when I actually said, "anna pshayin lakha".

Then there's Spanish...which can be a lot of fun too. Some sadist chose "derechO" for going straight ahead...and then made of "derechA"...right...as in turn to the right. This has led to the not always unfortunate outcome of several earnest Gringos being driven into stone walls and over embankments by taxi drivers and others who went straight when they should have turned right etc.

The other night it struck again. I've moved my two rabbits, Whitey and Blackie, to the open rooftop of the house I share in town. My roomies are two delightfully divorced Mexican women. At the table one night, as the whiskey bottle was being passed round, I waxed warm over how charming I found rabbits to be, once you tamed them and got them used to your presence...and how these two were especially delightful...hopping around and so warm and fuzzy to the touch...I even encouraged the women to not be afraid to play with them.

Of course I only realized too late that there was an unholy gleam in their eyes as I went on in my vastly improved Spanish. Then it dawned on me...I'd been telling these two women to go up on the rooftop and play with my warm and fuzzy balls. They'd kept straight faces all through this until I reminded them that one of my balls was white and the other black...and the white one was smaller but much friendlier too. What finally burst the dam though was that one was bigger than the other.

Only then did I realize that the word for rabbit, "Conejos" (Conehos)...is distressingly similar to the word for testicles..."Cohones". It was cruel of them to treat me so.

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language parhad - Thursday, December 18 2003, 16:52:01 (EST)
- Re: language Tiglath - 12/19 04:38

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