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=> 200 Foreskins Wedding Gift...

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Saturday, July 3 2004, 1:24:22 (CEST)
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Muslim scholars pouring over the Old and Not So Old Testament were shocked to find precedent for drowning in rivers. They cite one John The Baptist who set up a stand by the river Jordan in ancient Galilee where he would half-drown willing subjects who later believed they would go to heaven. Authorities finally put an end to this insane man`s endeavor to half-drwon all the Jews Yahweh missed the first time..as a sort of reminder to be good...the Assyrians being busy at the time and unavailible. In the time honored Jewish custom he was beheaded.

"It was quite shocking for me to see signs of a sado-massochistic cult flourising in Judea", said Alli Jassim, in charge of the "Find Crap In Their Religion" office of the Grand Mufti in Damascus. "We thought Jews just sacrificed their children...we didn`t know they drowned people as well", continued the mild mannered cleric...But I assume Jews were getting ready to become Christians and expand on their god`s word".

Also coming as a surprise was the discovery of King David`s unique bride gift paid to Samuel, or one of them..they all looked alike...on the ocassion of his marrying 25 more women. The custom among conservative great Jewish Kings was to only provide 100 Phillistine foreskins for the wedding guests to snack on but David...soon to give birth to Jesus...expanded on the old custom as only a truly great man would..he went out and cut the foreskins off of 200 Phillistine men who were not invited to the wedding.

Stay tuned for more fun customs from the people who brought you Camp Auschwitz and the waterless shower.

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