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=> Re: Furthermore
| Re: Furthermore |
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Posted by
Qasrani
(Guest)
- Friday, July 9 2004, 9:55:22 (CEST) from  Netherlands -  Windows XP -  Internet ExplorerWebsite: Website title: |
Do I care about other women's issues? Of course I do. But do I distinguish it from the greater plight and discrimination and disenfranchisement experienced by the vast majority of people? No, I don't. And I don't think I have to "just because I'm a woman." I will not be among the women who are going to focus their attention on women's issues as my call to arms. There are people that are better suited, more empassioned and that have a wider range of experience, etc. that can do a better job than I ever can. I find some theories and approaches extremely insular and feminist theory is one of them. That's my opinion. I don't doubt that you find it interesting, but I don't. For me, when I read feminist theory I don't have "A Ha!" moments. And I have come to the conclusion that as far as my own personal paradigm, m.o., or whatever you want to call it, feminist theory doesn't touch me the same way that other approaches do. When I read Foucault, I get "a ha!" moments, or Baudrillard or a sleuth of other... I don't know what to call them because I think they are post-post-modern so I don't know what you can call them. You are putting me on the spot here and I can only think that my lack of interest in feminist theory is because I see the problems coming from a deeper cause than just keeping women down for its own sake. So, I think true equality doesn't come if you have various other disparities and you will always devolve to a state of inequality if you don't address the more intrinsic issues. Again, it's how I have come to see the world. I apologize if it frustrates either you or Fred, but that's the beauty of having different outlooks, I think. We have a long long long way to go as far as gender equality. But that does not stop me in my tracks. I see how far we have come and some women have come farther than others because they could walk away from the expected. I looked through Bitch when you sent me the link and my eyes fell upon the articles on Bush women and the book review of the Meaning of Wife, again I was not really taken in. That doesn't mean you can't be taken in by it and be unimpressed by the things I find impressive, right? You were being down right aggressive is what I meant when I said you were being "aggressive." If I wanted to call you assertive, that's what I would have said and if I found you mean-spirited that's what I would have said. But what I said was aggressive. For God's sake, please give me some credit. Fred is fuming and saying down right insulting stuff in his responses to these posts and I will not respond to them because they are so non-deferential that it would not be a dialogue. Why would I engage in that sort of push of force? He will outdo me in his virulence every time and I don't have the stomach for that sort of engagement. I repeat my advice to you: if your prof is such a prick, LEAVE. Listen, you are just starting out, you need to build your web of contacts, if this guy has you in some corner, you need to leave. You can finnagle funding from another source and reorganize... Yes, this is familiar and you've fallen into a habit of it, but if it's going to cost you your esteem and mental health, not to mention the monetary cost of delaying your Phd. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? The women I have come across are not just snooty and not willing to extend any sort of help to me, they have literally tried to trip me up! They don't want you to take initiative because they don't want any woman (other than them) to shine. It's absolutely shameful. I had this one woman at my firm who spent my first 4 months answering the same way to any question I had: "I don't know." After a while, I would go up to her and ask her questions not to find stuff out, I would pose it to others to get a real answer, but I would ask her because I got such a kick out of going up to her and she cutting me off before I finished my sentence with her "I don't know." Hahahahah... She straight up got annoyed and the amusement of it to me wore off. And a month before I left, forward a year, (and when she realized that I would be coming back) she gave me a tall tale about how she was so busy when I started out at the firm, etc. and that she wished that she was more interactive back then. A woman with 20 years at the same firm answering "I don't know." to any question posed is absolutely shameful. She has to live with that, my life goes on... I built my existence at that place around her and not through her. It worked out well. She looked petty because some of these "I don't know"s and dismissive comments were done in front of or within ear-shot of some of the partners. Oops for her. Anyhow, we've all got our life stories. I hope you see that your experience is not unique and as I said in my first response, that it is how you react to this stuff that will give you weight, strength and wisdom. Just do what you are doing but don't be so silly to think that you can knock on the same door and get a different response. Get out, get out, get out, is my advice habibi. You deserve better and more everything. The difference is that this prof leads the lab team so there is noone that you can turn to within the group that has equal authority. Best, Qasrani --------------------- |
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