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=> Wellfed Has A Hissy Fit

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Thursday, July 1 2004, 2:18:49 (CEST)
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...at the offices of Zindalite Wellfed Alkhas, managing editor of all powder puff pieces was seen to stamp his foot and exclaim..."Oh Beans"! We bring you the latest news about the news that Communists have once again stormed the beaches of Zindalite Magazine where several were found under Wellfed`s bed, bumping their uglies...perpend...

Dear Reader,

Our website was the object of yet another computer attack this week. Yesterday, profanities were written on some of our web pages, Ziggurat Bulletin Board in particular, against the State of Israel and the United States.

...calm down..yesterday Israel and America wrote graffti with Palestinian blood all over walls in Palestine..shit happens. Just pucker up and go back to ass-kissing..it`s what you`re respected for the most.

This morning we indefinitely disabled “The Ziggurat” and cleaned the affected areas.

...you should wash your head out with soap too..it`s been infected for some time now.

We were informed by a few of our concerned readers that some links from past issues had also been linked to obscene websites. We are diligently working on removing these links from our general areas at this time.

..shit...your magazine is so damn dusty from lack of interest you probably just noticed them now.

Zinda Magazine remains the most trusted name in news and information on the conditions of the Christians of the Middle East-descent, Assyrians in particular.

...are you double jointed? because if you are there`s a hell of a lot of smoke you could blow up your arse...if you don`t mind standing in line.

Islamic extremists are believed to have been behind this latest attack on Zinda Magazine, in response to our comprehensive coverage of the attacks on the Christian families in Iraq.

..."are believed to have been"...by whom...your mother? Are you nuts? Who gives a shit what the three of you write, that fifty people read? Everybody gets these "attacks" but only YOU would turn them into a National Attack. You`re funny.

For more information on the recent attacks in Iraq and the Assyrian response to the transfer of power in Iraq and abroad please visit us at: http://www.zindamagazine.com.

..oh I get it...have people gotten tired of whipped bubble gum news?

Zinda Magazine apologizes to you and your family members if you already have or may in the future encounter obscene images or profanities upon visiting our online magazine. Other unwanted websites may have been linked to our Internet site due to computer hackers whose action has been reported to the authorities.

...I did it you nerd! report me! Have you ever apologized for the obscenity of calling down yet another Christian attack on BetNahrain and offering to form ANOTHER bucnch or traitorous dicheads in some Levies..after which you`ll come srying down your tutu that Christians have been abused again..for NO REASON!

In the meantime, if you encounter any bizarre websites linked to our pages in the future, please contact us immediately.

...nothing more bizarre than the one you`ve got going already..hell, they probably woke your readers up.

Due to the nature of the news coverage and the information displayed on the pages of our magazine, we expect more of such attacks in the future and will be working with the authorities to determine the origin of these harassments.

..oh man fuck YOU! Where did you learn this sort of cheap self-promotion...a JC? Why don`t you back into a fireplug and say you were raped by Terrorists...on second thought...

Thank you for your understanding and patience,

...the hell with that..I gave up all patience and any understanding I had when you kept insisting you aere Assyrian..because you`re a Christian.

zCrew

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