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=> beth isn't religious...not at all

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Sunday, August 29 2004, 3:09:28 (CEST)
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when they aren't tatooting Jesus on each other's butts...they're following Bishop Kaplan around..the rest of the time we hear of the Mars One and Ten...not to mention what happened in Syria with the Church and which long beared fool said what about some arcane point of religious bubble-gum..then they're complaining about how Christians are being treated...and Hanna is telling us about his saints...then comes a question about a Jew who also couldn't make a living back then and followed Jesus around like he was the ZOWAA of his day...from a series of requests to know exactly whinch side of the floor Thomas got up on comes this "deifinitive" answer about a point of Church "History"

I have no doubt if you were to go to Haiti...out in the brush where the venerable religion of VooDoo is still practised you'd get people of varying opinions about the facts of History of their religion too..like which way do you cut a roosters neck if the morning star is ascendant...and then of course there's a hall of fame where the elbows of various famous and pious Roosters are kept for the faithful to come worship...and an old goat's skull has been the source of learned dispute among the Pope of the Hills verses the Bishop of the Trees about whether or not the goat was two in one..or one in three and if the goat's fathers was also him...or himself...who was both father and father since to many, a she-goat as a goddess reminds them of the days when they blinded each other over these "historical" facts of grave concern to the spiritual welfare of Haiti and its place in the kingdom of Goats and the universe too.

No doubt there are several univeristies who teach Goat...with a double major in Rooster...where several libraries contain manuscripts as old and as useful as any Syriac manuscript ever was for getting into heaven...or getting somebody's goat...

Religion, you see, is very important to the continued sanity and moral uprightness of the world...and a goat and a man had to be killed before either could start.

The whole thing is so fucking stupid and useless...while we have real history we can verify and explore as early as the Levies and Simele so we might learn how to avoid what we JUST walked into again...goats and Jews blaring..these jackasses dear to goats and monkeys and gods are discussing that which they know nothing of...which to them makes it all the more "real",,,cause it has to be taken on FAITH...with the HOPE thrown in that it matters anywhere. We learn nothing of what actually affects our lives and our children's lives ON EARTH...while we debate which corner of heaven we'll roost in.

Hanna and Paul

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Beth Suryoyo Assyrian (Othuroyo) Forum

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Written by Gabriel Sawma on 29 Aug 2004 01:48:36:

In connection with Hanna's question and Paul's answer to the Gospel of St. Thomas. You have to differentiate between four different subjects all have the term "Thomas" in common.

...jeezus...

1-Thomas, one of Jesus' twelve disciples (Matt 3:18; Luke 6:15; Acts 1:13). The Greek form of his name is a transliteration of Aramaic "TeOMA" twin. John represents it with a Greek term (DIDIMUS) which means the TWIN. John 11:16; 20-24; 21:2. The Acts of St. Thomas identifies him as the twin of Jesus.

...so John Thomas is the guy's name? How did you know that was the slang term Mellors used as a nickname for his big penis to Lady Chatterly...ain't religion a mystery?

2-Acts of Thomas, an apocryphal writing from the third century A.D. deriving from Syrian Christianity, and composed, most probably, in Syriac. Complete texts have survived in Syriac and Greek and portons in Ethiopic, Latin, and Armenian. The Act begins with Thomas and other apostles gather to determine the locations of their respective ministries, and India falls to the lot of Thomas.

...would you find a meeting at Ford Motor Comopany to determine which rep goes where in the international auto market, where people need cars and souls too, a matter of great interest? If you wanted to drive to Heaven, I mean.

Accordint the the Act of Thomas, he expressed unwillingness to go to India, his master(and twin, Jesus, sells him as a slave to a messenger of the Indian king.

...I would have too.

In the Acts, Thomas' journey to India included the virtue of sexual abstinence. Many other stories have been told in the Acts of St Thomas. For more references concerning the Act, please refer to M.R. James, The Apocryphal NT.

...why...no goats?

3-The Gospel of Thomas: A collection of 114 "logia" or sayings purporting to be from Jesus, composed in Greek A.D. 140 probably in Syria.

..."Probably"...you know what God said and you don't know where they wrote it down? You scared for a minute there...I thought you wrote "logic".

This work was mentioned by several ancient writers, but its content remained unknown until the discovery of the Gnostic library at Nag Hamadi in Egypt in 1946. The text included forty non-canonical sayings of Jesus.

...wasn't that about the time that Christians were speaking in cannons all over the place?

Some of the sayings in Thomas are longer than their canonical parallels. Some of the sayings, on the other hand, are shorter than the canonical parallels.

...that's worth noting...

Texts of the apocryphon are available in C. Tischendorf, Evangelia Apocrypha 2nd edition; P. Peeters, Evangiles Apocryphes. An English traslation is provided by M.R. James, The Apocryphal N.T.

..and you READ this?

4-Thomas Gospel of Infancy. A second century A.D. apocryphal gospel describing many deeds performed by the child Jesus between the ages of five and twelve and ending with an expanded version of the temple incident of Luke 2:41-51.

...I suppose his three year old cousin Mordechai was on hand for a "first child account"?

This collection of tales about a child whose character bears no resemblance to the canonical Jesus. Included among those tales a story of Jesus making clay and then causing them to fly.

...we used to do that..it's called a "dirt clod fight"...a lot of fun...but a University Degree?

This story later was adopted by the Moslems and recorded in the Koran. The Infancy Gospel of Thomas enjoyed widespread popularity and was translated into numerous languages from its original Greek.

..well of course it was popular...MAD magazine being some years distant...there wasn't a whole lot to do back then...childen's stories have always been a hit.

...and there you have it...our Spiritual needs were just addressed...by someone who knows not a damn thing of what he's saying except he's recording the facts about Goats and Roosters on Haiti..or might as well be...some "religion"...and they make fun of Ashur!

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