The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum

=> Emil......

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Saturday, November 13 2004, 2:33:13 (CET)
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...I'm assuming people have seen the link to Emil Keliane's site, "Square Moon Diary". I've been reading sections and I would strongly urge others to do so. I feel shocked that he is Assyrian...and then shocked that I would be.

His writing skills are prodigous...like many accomplished writers of the English language and experience..English is not his first language...not even his second. How do you get this good? I have to be carefull because I run the other direction from praise also so I don't want to give Emil the jitters

As I was reading him just now I was reminded of Anais Nin...the one person not in my family who saved my life. Emil's writing is different of course....the voice is distinctly his...it is Human, strong in ways no musclebound idiot can ever be...not masculine or femnine...and that's what I likd so much aout Anais. And then, sure enough, Emil mentions her...quotes her and reveals the impact her life and writing had on him....it was a thrill to stumble across that.

What a treasure this man is...this wonderful, brilliant, Queer Assyrian...this champion of all our human rights who dabbles in the sacred.....the one who dares dive so deep into his own psyche that he reaches that subterranean river that runs through and connects all of us...htough few risk the journey. We are so fortunate to have found him

An artist's journey is painful...it almost has to be that way....what we need to learn is that there is enough pain already...no need to inflict any more on ourselves..because we're going to catch hell enough.

The self-destructive phase of most artist's life is a necessary path depending on how we started out...or rather who started us out and where and when...can't be helped. But it isn't really the "self" that we are accused of attacking...it's the mask...the distance placed between our true selves and is expected of us, the tools for the journey ripped away from us at an early age...it is to get back to the Sel that the artist fights against the phony cop on the beat sent out see we behave. The struggle is to GET to the Self...never to destroy it...what the artist seeks to destroy are the mechanisms surrounding and within him or her meant to keep each of us from finding who we are.

In extreme cases an artist will prefer to die rather than remain locked in a false reality and the only way to avoid such a fate is to go all the way....no holds barred...because it's like a nightmare...this being trapped in a role designed witout your own Self in mind......the Terror is a phantom...it becomes "real" when it succeeds in making you believe it is real....it's a test to see if you can find true north...

(A sculptor friend was aghast at my reaction to Jackie and her National Front/Cunt......."for god's sake"..he would plead..."the woman bought $70,000 worth of sculpture from you....SLEEP WITH HER"!!!!!!!!!!)

And of course, just as with women writers, pilots and doctors...they must face all the usual obstacles plus 1000 more having to do with their gender...or with skin color and finally...the one thing that cuts across and encompasses all those uglies...sexual orientation.

It's just an accident of birth that I'm straight.....same with my height, eye color and any talent I may have.....imagine being literally hounded to death for your eye color.....or talent. yet this is what people wth "values" yearn for.

Emil made being Assyrian that much more meaningful for me. With his presence, I can tolerate the idea of ten thousand Aprims with calm and grace.

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