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=> Re: The life of an Assyrian Child

Re: The life of an Assyrian Child
Posted by Jeff (Guest) jeff@attoz.com - Thursday, June 9 2005, 16:43:10 (CEST)
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Tiglath wrote:
>You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.

*** My best friend, an American, used to work with two Chaldean friends. They both wore black every single day. When he asked them why, they responded "We wear black for 1 year after a funeral...and there are so many relatives and so many funerals, so we just bought an entire wardrobe of black." Is that ridiculous, or what?

*** One of the girls was getting married, and the other girl was to be her maid of honor. The maid of honor's father died about 6 months before the wedding, and she didn't go to her best friend's wedding because "you are not supposed to celebrate or go out for a year after the funeral..." Is that the height of insanity, or what?

>You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sanwichee ."
>
>Your family dog understood Assyrian.

*** I once met a dog, of my father's hairdresser, that knew more Chaldean than I do.

>
>Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.

*** Sunday EVENING...get it right!

>
>You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
>
>You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals day, not seven.
>
>You ate casseroles for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday.
>
>You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
>
>You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
>
>Your mum's main hobby is cleaning.
>
>You thought that everyone made their own bottled pickles & jams.
>
>You never knew what to expect when you opened the margarine, after all you thought washing out and reusing margarine containers was normal.
>
>You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.
>
>You ate your salad after the main course.
>
>You thought Orthodox was the only religion in the world.
>
>Your were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or thongs.
>
>You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
>
>Your grandmother never threw anything away, you thought seeing washed plastic bags hanging on the clothes line was normal.
>
>You learned to play Konkan before you went to school.
>
>You can understand Assyrian but you can't speak it.
>
>You have at least one relative who came over on the boat.
>
>You have at least 3 male & female relatives named Ashur, Ninos, Sargon, Shameran, Nahrain or Atour.
>
>You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
>
>You have relatives you don't speak to.
>
>You drank beer before you were a teenager.
>
>You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
>
>Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.

*** THAT'S FUNNY AND TRUE! Big, beautiful leather-plastic-covered couches galore!!!

>
>You thought that talking loud was normal.
>
>You thought sugared almonds were common at all weddings & attending a wedding at 9pm was normal even though the invite had 7pm .
>
>You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
>
>Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
>
> There was a crucifix in every room of the house.
>
>Boys didn't do house work because it was women's work.
>
>You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father which meant the boys parents had to come & ask for your hand (oh, and he has to be Assyrian)
>
>You have at least one irrational fear or phobia that can be attributed to your mother.
>
> Your father is a process worker.

*** For Chaldeans, it's a bit different. Your father is either a Grocery Store Owner, Land Developer, an owner of a Cell Phone Store, or some other food franchise, ... basically any entreprenurial enterprise that you can think of, ranging from being a medical supplies wholesaler to having your own moving company.

> Shopping would be buying everything in bulks as it was advertised on special from toilet paper, detergent & drinks including ringing relatives AND BUYING FOR THEM AS WELL !

*** Here's the most common phrase(s) uttered by my family each Sunday:

"Where'd you get this (insert item here...could be food, or non-food) ?"

"COSTCO"

Qusser Qutt B'Costco!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
>
> Those of you who get this...KNOW who to pass it on to!



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