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=> Re: Unintentional comedy at it's best

Re: Unintentional comedy at it's best
Posted by Maggie (Guest) - Sunday, August 7 2005, 2:01:27 (CEST)
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American politician, Texas oil millionaire and baseball team owner, from a noted family, the Republican son of U.S. President George H. W. Bush. With a strong education platform, he became the governor of Texas in 1998.

(((yes, he was the one in the stands at Rangers games grinin' like a crackhead)))

THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS A CRACK HEAD!

"After years of being dismissed as a footloose lightweight"


BECAUSE HE HAS JELLO FOR BRAINS.

"You know where you stand with him," says Pete Laney, speaker of the Texas House.

SURE. "YOU FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON ME. YOU FOOL ME TWICE, AHHHH....YOU CAN'T FOOL ME AGAIN"

(((Teen pregnancy??? Mom's candor???? How many lines of coke does it take to abort the chick he f...)))

"In 1977, three months after meeting her, he married Laura Welch (born 11/4/1946), a devout west Texas school librarian. She manages the household while George is harried by twin teenage daughters, Jenna and Barbara (born 11/25/1981)."

AND HIS DAUGHTERS BECAME ALCOHOLIC FROM BEING HARRIED BY HIM!

"If he proves himself up to the task of handling both Texas and teenagers, he has a chance of becoming the first man since John Quincy Adams to follow his father into the White House."

YES, AND WE KNOW HE COULDN'T HANDLE TEXAS AND THE TEENAGERS, AND WE ALL KNOW HOW HE BECAME THE PRESIDENT!

" With brother Jeb the Governor of Florida as of 11/13/1998, the Bush family may well become the political dynasty of the 21st century."


THE BUSH DYNASTY=THE S AND L SCANDAL, PEDOPHILIA, SEX/DRUGS/MURDER, THE SAUDI CONNECTION, AND STEALING THE PRESIDENCY THROUGH BROTHER JEB


"((("George is harried by twin teenage daughters"... okay, sure... they can harry him all they want, not my business)))"

HE'S HARRIED BY ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. HE IS "MISUNDERESTIMATED".

"George spent some footloose years after college before settling into responsible marriage and politics."

WHERE LAURA HAD TO BREAST-FEED HIM.

" He entered Yale in 1964 and when Vietnam loomed, joined the Air National Guard."

WHICH HE NEVER ATTENDED.

"His choices did not include a Rhodes scholarship"

HOW COULD AN IDIOT BE A RHODES SCHOLAR?

"Canada or the draft and he was not shown any special favoritism as the son of a Congressman."

HE DIDN'T HAVE TO RUN TO CANADA. ANY CIA AGENT WORKING FOR HIS FATHER COULD HIDE HIM PERMANENTLY.

"He called 1968 to 1973 his "wandering years,"

HE WAS LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.

" working on a senate campaign, trying out sales, as a youth advisor to inner-city kids, along with a high share of drinking and carousing."


CAN'T GET SCUMMIER THAN THAT!

"After two years at Harvard Business School, Bush earned an MBA in business administration and set out on his own, 28 years old."

AND FAILED AT EVERY JOB FROM THERE ON!

" He drove to Midland and straight into the oil business with $20,000 of his own money. Having a father who was vice-president of the country was all the connection he needed."

THAT AND THE SAUIDI'S MONEY.

" Then baseball, buying the Texas Rangers in 1989. His original investment there of $600,000 could eventually be worth an estimated $14 million. The drop in oil prices in the early '80s was a serious set-back, but Bush managed to come out ahead."

HE CAME OUT AHEAD BY STEALING, CHEATING AND ROBBING UNSUSPECTING AND STUPID TEXANS.

"Laura was a huge influence on Bush. She inspired him to read and talk about the Bible, and in 1986 just after his 40th birthday, he quit drinking from one day to the next. He's learned to take hold of self-discipline, and to love his public life as a "pol."

IS THAT WHY HE ATTENDS LUCIFERIAN MEETINGS EVERY YEAR AT BOHEMIAN GROVE?

"The official announcement of his candidacy for the presidential nomination was made on 6/12/1999 in Cedar Rapids, IA."

YES, BY THE HAVES AND THE HAVE MORES.

"Elections were held on 11/07/2000, leading to one of the most dramatic and confusing contests ever witnessed."

YES THOSE NASTY CHADS, OR WAS IT THE HANGING CHADS? OR WAS IT THE BLACK VOTERS' DISENFRANCHISEMENT?

" When the issue of uncounted ballots finally went to the Supreme Court, the conclusion was upheld that Bush was the winner by a number of several hundred votes."

THANKS TO KATHERINE HARRIS, JEB, CHENEY, WOLFOWITZ, AND RUMSEFELD WHO THREATENED TO TAKE THEIR ACT TO BROADWAY!

"On 12/13/2000, Bush accepted Al Gore's concession speech and became President-elect."

BY OUTSMARTING GORE. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW DUMB GORE HAS TO BE?

"President Bush's nomination for a second term was made official at about 8:08 PM on September 1, 2004 at the Republican National Convention when the Lt. Governor of Maryland pronounced "the ayes have it." Bush accepted the nomination in his speech at about 10:10 PM EDT on September 2, 2004 in New York, NY (time from observation, not official news report)."

FOUR MORON YEARS!

"Bush won the election with results coming in on November 3, 2004. At about 11 AM, Senator Kerry, his opponent, called and conceded the election. At about 3 PM that day in Washington, DC, Bush gave his victory speech."

MICHAEL MOORE FAILED TO PUT CAMERAS IN THE SOUTH!

"At 11:56 AM on January 20, 2005, Bush took the oath of office administered by Chief Justice Rehnquist. (The time of the oath is taken from personal observation; BBC News reported that Bush took the oath of office "just before 1700 GMT")."

WHO ELSE BUT REQUIST WOULD DIRTY THEIR HANDS?



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