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Re: for Matay...
Posted by mar parhad (Guest) - Friday, December 17 2004, 21:33:20 (CET)
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...I LIKE the idea of a philosopher burning his books!!! I know it's a material loss in terms of the books, but the man made a leap into a region few of us will ever know.

...I wonder if lighting Nimrod on fire comes close?

...my goodness what a rich history we have. One of these days, when all the Assyrian leaders who would trash those of us who dare...someone among us might be able to write a REAL history of our People. We have as many if not more stories to fire the imagination with than any other people on earth.

I was just thinking the other day of what this battle of the monuments...the "wrong" sculptures and the lawsuits from hell represented. For the last 100 years or so, in America, our people have followed the traditional immigrant's "curve". We came poor, barefoot...usually represented by the least educated, most backward and ignorant from the old country who left for the Unknown in search of bread and a roof over their head...( I never know whether to write, "over their heads"...or, "over their head"...in the former it sounds like we have several people who each have several heads...while the latter sounds like a bunch of people with one head).

Factory jobs...any jobs, were all they hoped for...that and a chance to send their children on to higher ground educationally and materially. All these noble peasants could think of was getting in and getting along. But rather than get completely swept away in the Assimilation Stomp, they re-created the social atmosphere they recalled from their villages and clung to the "old" desperately because they saw no other way to enter the higher and main culture, without losing what was 'essential" to them,( because they HAD nothing much more than chai and kadi and church)...which was exclusively European at that time.

In time we got farther along...doctors and lawyers...professors and businesspeople...sort of like all the people I appealed to for help in funding the monuments or purchasing and thereby supporting the sculptures. But the way we had of being Assyrian was still based upon the earlier model..the social club...dance hall, bingo thing, and of course, the CHURCH.

And then we reached the end of that road...an impasse. To go on in the old way was to stagnate...which you can see in the kind of leadershit we have...people who are barely capable of embarrassing us, royally, but try REAL hard anyway. To them the idea of going public...of demanding our place in the sun...right there on center stage AS Assyrians and not just as generic doctors or accountants, was potentially threatening for they weren't sure on what basis we'd retain their services, if at all...and so you had people insisting on giving me advice on sculpture when they could barely tie their own shoes...or as in Golani's case, just welding it for me when they thought I was too ethnic to know my own mind and business. Golani betrayed what they all feel...that no Assyrian can be respected AS AN ASSYRIAN. Meaning that if he does Assyrian things but does thjem in and for the mainstream...he MUST be a fool, for one, and not any good either. Golani or any other Assyrian would always assume the European knew what he was doing and knew it better than they could ever know. We betray our own lack of respect for ourselves...that's all Golani showed us...he didn't diminish me at all...he lowered himself, which at his height doesn't leave a whole lot of room to gaze out over "Assyria" from.

These people strive like giants to hold onto and pervert anything that comes along...to put their seal of mediocrity all over it because they're afraid the Assyrian "thing" will get away from them...that all the "work" they did for all the years I was in diapers will go unnoticed and unappreciated...and I can understand how they feel...I hope to Ashur the same happens to me one day and I feel horribly irrelevant and grumpy in my turn as I watch others racing ahead of me...I just hope there's an asshole like me to come along on that day and hurry on my demise...as I wish death to Nimrod every morning.

Nimrod, Bejan, Golani and a handfull of others are at the tail end of a failing line...no matter how much they did or didn't do, their day is over...it HAS to be or we're going nowhere but the toilet. Aprim, Betbasso and the rest aren't even in the Western Hemisphere yet and may never be. They are the Nimrods of yesteryear...irrelevant before they started.

They all reached out to grab at my work, to pull it back into their dead end, make it a part of their last gasp and kill it in the process. I chose to stomp on their grubby fingers and shut the door on them as their Titanic went down...and I swam away, with a monument tied round my neck...and sank anyway. But at least I didn't land near them.

It was worth it. Shumirum will not go up where she was supposed to...but she WILL go up. The Hammurabi for Detroit was ruined by Assyrians...NOT Chaldeans (later, that is. The first three donors to the project were all Assyrian and NONE of them was from Detroit)...but I'll make another, if smaller, stab at it. One way or the other I'll show, in the end, that I was ready...that I was willing and that I was capable of doing just what I set out to do..what I said I COULD do...what we all CAN do...make a place for our own Heritage on this continent...make ourselves and our culture a part of the fabric called America and the West. if I was held up...sidetracked and blown off course...it was because of the fear and inadequacy of those who helped bring us this far...but could go no further.

Ashur bless tham for what they did...and damn them for not knowing when to step aside.



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