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=> Unintentional Comedy at it's best

Unintentional Comedy at it's best
Posted by Ado (Guest) - Sunday, August 7 2005, 0:52:27 (CEST)
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"The Reader" says it best when he points out "Unintentional Comedy" as a godsend... this is GWB's Bio on Lois Rodden's www.astrodatabank.com(I have no frigin' idea, but it's funny):



Biography

American politician, Texas oil millionaire and baseball team owner, from a noted family, the Republican son of U.S. President George H. W. Bush. With a strong education platform, he became the governor of Texas in 1998.

(((yes, he was the one in the stands at Rangers games grinin' like a crackhead)))

After years of being dismissed as a footloose lightweight, at 50 he is emerging from his dad's shadow. He's taken strong stands against gun control and teen pregnancy and is in favor of prayer and prison work gangs. More importantly, even Democrats tend to view him as a straight-shooter with his mom's candor. "You know where you stand with him," says Pete Laney, speaker of the Texas House.

(((Teen pregnancy??? Mom's candor???? How many lines of coke does it take to abort the chick he f...)))

In 1977, three months after meeting her, he married Laura Welch (born 11/4/1946), a devout west Texas school librarian. She manages the household while George is harried by twin teenage daughters, Jenna and Barbara (born 11/25/1981). If he proves himself up to the task of handling both Texas and teenagers, he has a chance of becoming the first man since John Quincy Adams to follow his father into the White House. With brother Jeb the Governor of Florida as of 11/13/1998, the Bush family may well become the political dynasty of the 21st century.

((("George is harried by twin teenage daughters"... okay, sure... they can harry him all they want, not my business)))

George spent some footloose years after college before settling into responsible marriage and politics. He entered Yale in 1964 and when Vietnam loomed, joined the Air National Guard. His choices did not include a Rhodes scholarship, Canada or the draft and he was not shown any special favoritism as the son of a Congressman. He called 1968 to 1973 his "wandering years," working on a senate campaign, trying out sales, as a youth advisor to inner-city kids, along with a high share of drinking and carousing.

((("George spent some footloose years after college", WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Did he move to the countryside and try to get all the locals to dance to some crapy 80's music only to have his plans thwarted by the uptight town pastor who calls his style of dancing/music/musac the devils music and let's try making this here runTHEhell on sentence a little bit longer, just a little bit, there that's long enough)))

After two years at Harvard Business School, Bush earned an MBA in business administration and set out on his own, 28 years old. He drove to Midland and straight into the oil business with $20,000 of his own money. Having a father who was vice-president of the country was all the connection he needed. Then baseball, buying the Texas Rangers in 1989. His original investment there of $600,000 could eventually be worth an estimated $14 million. The drop in oil prices in the early '80s was a serious set-back, but Bush managed to come out ahead.

(((with $20,000 of his own money= Baba's money= taxpayers money= MY MONEY)))

Laura was a huge influence on Bush. She inspired him to read and talk about the Bible, and in 1986 just after his 40th birthday, he quit drinking from one day to the next. He's learned to take hold of self-discipline, and to love his public life as a "pol."

((("She inspired him to read and talk about the Bible" SHE TAUGHT HIM HOW TO READ PERIOD!!))) have'ta add anoder one ((("he quit drinking from one day to the next" only to show how easily he can kill a whole lotta folks sober)))

The official announcement of his candidacy for the presidential nomination was made on 6/12/1999 in Cedar Rapids, IA.

Elections were held on 11/07/2000, leading to one of the most dramatic and confusing contests ever witnessed. When the issue of uncounted ballots finally went to the Supreme Court, the conclusion was upheld that Bush was the winner by a number of several hundred votes.

((("leading to one of the most dramatic and confusing contests ever witnessed" you can't make this shit up. I'm funny, but not THAT funny)))

On 12/13/2000, Bush accepted Al Gore's concession speech and became President-elect.

President Bush's nomination for a second term was made official at about 8:08 PM on September 1, 2004 at the Republican National Convention when the Lt. Governor of Maryland pronounced "the ayes have it." Bush accepted the nomination in his speech at about 10:10 PM EDT on September 2, 2004 in New York, NY (time from observation, not official news report).

Bush won the election with results coming in on November 3, 2004. At about 11 AM, Senator Kerry, his opponent, called and conceded the election. At about 3 PM that day in Washington, DC, Bush gave his victory speech.

At 11:56 AM on January 20, 2005, Bush took the oath of office administered by Chief Justice Rehnquist. (The time of the oath is taken from personal observation; BBC News reported that Bush took the oath of office "just before 1700 GMT").



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