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=> the Yuckarist...

Posted by parhad (Guest) - Friday, October 22 2004, 3:54:21 (CEST)
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...it seems Paul has enough sense to be ashamed of the core beliefs of his religion. Core beliefs are those things that specifically make one a full member. Hence you can be "nice" and still not be a true member...you can be NOT nice but eat a corpse and you are a true member. Therefore believing anything about Jesus isn't a CORE belief....you can buy it all but you won't really belong if you don't eat and drink him, hence...eating and drinking Jesus are THE core beliefs, without which you ain't gonna get into heaven.

I suppose I'll have to answer my own question...in the Yuckarist, so aptly named...we are told that the bread is SYMBOLLIC flesh...that means it isn't REALLY bread at all...or rather it is for the brief second it takes you to swallow what then "magically" turns into human gore as it slithers down your throat...and into what must be a very surprised stomach.

Christians say you must not BITE or CHEW the bread...that is a sin...that must be because you'd actually be sinking your teeth into a corpse...the corpse of a Jew named Jesus...and that would be TOO disgusting...so you just let it melt in your mouth like any good T bone steak or kebob should do.

No one knows just which part of the corpse they're eating...which should give some matrons reason to blush..or maybe not.

Then...to round out your meal, you drink a bit of wine...red wine...which everyone knows is the ONLY thing to have with red meat. The wine too isn't really wine..it's just pretending to be...for it too will "magically" be transformed into human blood as it washes down atop the human meat in your gut. All of this will get mixed together with donuts and Wheaties and come out as shit...that's right...Christians not only eat and drink their god...they shit him out too!!!

Whether the "Jesus" portion of your turd leads the charge and opens your anus up....or brings up the rear...ahem... and gets slammed shut on, is something biblical scholars are still debating...stay tuned.

If I were Paul I'd stick to bashing the people who invented civilization...it beats defending this god-awful crap.

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