The Inside Assyria Discussion Forum #5

=> Trailer Park Assyrians

Posted by pancho (Guest) - Tuesday, February 27 2007, 2:50:55 (CET)
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Trailer Park Assyrians

I Can imagine how upsetting it must be to think that our preoccupation with and intense devotion to the idea of being modern Assyrians can be laid at the feet of the modern Europeans…as the notion that we are Chaldeans can be attributed to a pope in the 17th Century, worried to be losing whole nations to the Protestant Reformation and eager to find more Catholics anywhere he could…starting with those who could be bribed back.

Does Dr Joseph mean to say that this entire boondoggle started from something so head-achingly trivial as calling the people on the land the “lineal descendants” of the people under it? Yes.

No wonder we act as if our thumbs are being pulled off…no wonder we scream and rave and grab at anything floating by, even if it’s mushy and can’t keep us from drowning…no wonder we morph into banshees and harridans and foaming nationalists when all our talk of ancient ancestry is shown to be a mess of wet tissues…which, I fear, we secretly suspected all along and hence try to shout down all the harder…stuffing a martyr into the gaping holes of our badly listing Assyria.

In BetNahrain, for all those years that the poorest and least educated or capable among us, forced to live with their Muslim counterparts in poverty and ignorance, envy and wounded pride, had at least the consolation of being Christians…as the poor white trailer- trash of the South had their white skin as a badge of “honor”, setting them apart from African ex-slaves as dirt-poor, despised and ignorant as they…so too were we the “chosen people” of Christ, who could console ourselves in our abject misery, which we shared with Muslims, by this mark of “distinction”. We never did anything “Assyrian” then as we have never done since…it was all Christianity all the time, to which we added the name Assyrian when we believed another mark of distinction was forthcoming…and mostly, as Dr Joseph points out, it was those who migrated to America who first came under the spell of the growing fervor of nationalism being pushed at the time of the First World War and the League of Nations, who were among the first to call themselves Assyrians…because they too were the poorest of the poor and least educated, forced to look for jobs far from home and family, who wound up doing the lowest drudge work in American factories, at a time when dark foreigners were barely tolerated, like pack-mules and horses necessary to do the heavy pulling, but never accorded respect for their unique humanity or native cultures.

And in this America there was a Christian under every rock and in every wide spot in the road and we were barely a handful…not only that but our brand of Christianity was slightly suspect as an almost heathen form…a heresy to boot…so that, confronted with the might of American Industrial Strength Christianity Incorporated, our humbled ones were now overshadowed as Christians, where once it was a mark of pride and distinction…relegated to the back of the Christian bus when in BetNahrain they had been THE Church…one of the earliest and “Jesus spoke our language”.

In that atmosphere it’s more than understandable that our Nestorian immigrants would grasp at anything that made them unique again, one of a kind, special, not like all the rest…and since it could no longer be Christianity, then “by God”, and it was BY god too, they were going to call themselves Assyrians…they could see the process developing and learned quickly how to play along, serving themselves in the self-serving scam run by the Catholic Church, Protestant missionaries and other Europeans eager to make a spectacular “find” in calling us the Assyrians, to match their much heralded discovery of the ruins of ancient Assyria under our feet, and all because we were living ON the land once called Assyria...a scam that had the Christian Church confirming its pet fantasy that the mighty and bold Assyrians too, as almost every other accomplished Pagan society, LEAPT en masse into Christ at the mere sound of his name…something Simo Parpola is still pushing with all his might, adding that the religion of the ancient Assyrians was “almost like” Christianity…my arse.

He too will probably tell us that, since Christians are “kind” and so were the Assyrians, there was no difficulty and even a motive for Assyrians to sashay right into Christ and away from Ashur, without giving an ounce of a reason as to WHY they would even consider doing such a thing…as if any people in the world have ever done such a ludicrous thing as to betray their traditions and cultures, ancestors, children and gods. Christianity does not have, at its core, neither did it invent… kindness, love, charity and self-sacrifice like it says in their brochures. Besides which, all those things and more existed already in the pagan world long before Christ…and especially in Assyria.

The one, indisputably unique, facet of Christianity is that Christ is the long awaited Jewish Messiah…that’s it. The rest of it is tacked on, borrowed, stolen, corrupted and twisted to make a separate religion of it…the ritual, Paul’s letters, the early church, the pope, the patriarchs, all of it and all of them could have been attached to any religion…but the idea of the Messiah, the redeemer who’ll pluck your arse out of the fire because you fell in and don’t know how to save yourself, is pure Jewish lore and anxiety and guilt too at their almost unbelievable lack of ability or ambition on this earth, in ancient times…something so damn foreign to all we know of the Assyrians and their achievements that the accusation that Hebrews are paying Simo Parpola is far more likely…if you’re going to accuse anyone of being bought.

Everyone involved, and all of them in on the scam, agreed with each other and wrote letters to each other and “confirmed” each other’s “findings” and went on diddling themselves, us and the general public with one monstrous improbability after another and even got us, once again, to turn on each other with such blind vehemence that we’ve driven away all of our brightest people who could have saved us from this embarrassment of being used, again, entirely for the benefit of other people, while learning to enjoy and now crave it.

Instead of honoring Dr Joseph, one of us, who’s shown a way to steer through the mess we’ve made of ourselves intellectually, morally and developmentally…we rush again to the arms of white westerners…who have their own agenda in stroking our fantasies as they did when they started this thing…hurling insults at a brilliant man among us, because he tells us truths we don’t wish to hear…as any child would react when told the same.

By all means. Let’s not change. Let’s keep hurtling on this road…the fact that it’s now taken us to Kurdistan and made beggars of us once again…reducing our numbers in our homeland even more and making, from us, another army of homeless refugees dependent on more charity, lurking around the world, should be no indication that we’ve done anything wrong…oh no…but rather it is God testing us, or the world that has been unkind and “unjust” to us…like every beggar and ne’er-do-well the world over believes, carrying his grudge on his shoulder with “pride” and pugnacious envy as he walks the streets and back alleys of the crowded cities…sleeps in doorways and lounges in gutters, looking for the special handout that will re-affirm his pride….in Issaiah.

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